OKAY SO I LIED I'LL POST IT AS I GO ALONG
Simurgh
By Rachel Merryfield
Summary
The year is 3567. The world is in a downward spiral - with humanity in tow. 800 years ago, a massive meteorite crashed into the Atlantic Ocean. Although the tsunamis that followed were devastating, it's what the blow did to the waters that caused this ruin.
The meteorite, upon crashing into the ocean, was large enough to penetrate its surface, releasing highly acidic chemicals. In addition, it crashed on a shelf underwater, colliding with the earth and releasing more acids from the rock.
The end result was devastating. Earth's waters were highly toxic, and the acidity was absorbed by the rain. In an international conference, the countries decided they had to merge and lift the continents.
The new countries - Samunia (Western Europe), Abelon (US + Mexico), Nordland (Canada), Kainudra (South America), Ethiopia (Africa), Arabia (Middle East), Cossonia (Eastern Europe to Urals), Wanuland (Asia), Nipon (Japan) and Australia (derp) - suffered severe population loses. The population eventually leveled out at a total of about 40 million worldwide, with much of this concentrated in Samunia, Abelon, Kainudra and Nipon.
Over the years, Samunia and Abelon would have constant wars between eachother. The stakes were high - if the continent was subject to too much destruction, it would fall into the abyss, as seen by the unfortunate example of Australia.
In this tight political climate, a young Samunian boy, Julian Freedman, embarks on a journey to follow his dream of finding a Simurgh, a member of a legendary race of humans that could transform into phoenixes, so that it can help purify the world and its people.
Current progression:
[spoiler=Contains spoilers from the comic]
Three years ago, Julian was told to flee far from his hometown by his parents. Living feral, Julian uses his modified pistol, given as an heirloom, to fend for himself.
Julian was discovered by a wandering soldier, Simon, and were attacked by a pair of Cuckoo Eagles. Defeating them, they head to Simon's residence, where he fosters him for a short period of time as Julian builds a flying machine. Elaine, Simon's wife, helps him test the aircraft, but he's blown off of the continent. Simon is very angry at Elaine for not warning Julian earlier of the windy conditions.
At this point, Julian has landed on Abelon and was taken into shelter by Kouki Yamato. Kouki thinks its strange that a Samunian boy would be allowed to learn how to engineer aircraft, but Julian reveals that his father taught him. Upon questioning, Julian reveals that he last saw him 3 years ago. Despite his condolences, though, Kouki explains the urgency of getting Julian back to Samunia - or else a world war could break out.
While Julian was flying back, he was spotted by a warship, and was shot down with a laser blast. He fell deep into the toxic clouds below...
A strange scientist, with a deformed body covered in feathers and a bird-face, finds a peculiar creature in the underworld near his apparent lab. He takes it inside... and it turns out the creature is the Simurgh! And not only that... the Simurgh turns out to be Julian! Dazed, confused and barely keeping his power under control, he rips himself from the harnesses holding him down. He breaks free from the building and goes out to explore this unknown, desolate land.
There, he discovers that a group of people are being held as prisoner in a strange compound near mountains. He finds Elaine unconscious - where he decides that this is his opportunity to make the world a "better place", like he said earlier on page 005. He grabs Elaine, and sets himself ablaze, so he can lift an airship full of innocents into the sky. He's going to liberate them!
Meanwhile, in Abelon, Kouki ponders about Julian... until he gets a sudden surprise - the Simurgh, along with the ship and Elaine, appear over the horizon![/spoiler]
Pages
These will be updated often. Red Pages are pages that are not available, Blue Pages are unfinished pages. Normal links are finished pages. Some pages may be in colour.
PART ONE: EAGLE
Pages 001-048. The Eagle in the title symbolizes the strength of the Samunian nation. It also symbolizes Samunia itself.
Cover (http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/091/1/2/part_one___eagle_cover_by_daigonite-d3czpnw.jpg)
001 (http://i55.tinypic.com/2yjvbrs.jpg)
002 (http://i52.tinypic.com/2nbdhcw.jpg)
003 (http://i54.tinypic.com/f4lp1e.jpg)
004 (http://i52.tinypic.com/4l3ie.jpg)
005 (http://i53.tinypic.com/2ps13eh.jpg)
006 (http://i51.tinypic.com/2vaxggm.jpg)
007 (http://i54.tinypic.com/2q8at1e.jpg)
008 (http://i54.tinypic.com/3445pj9.jpg)
009 (http://i56.tinypic.com/rjh5yg.jpg)
010 (http://i51.tinypic.com/28iast4.jpg)
011 (http://i51.tinypic.com/nd8o3r.jpg)
012 (filler page) (http://i53.tinypic.com/20r0kqp.jpg)
013 (http://i56.tinypic.com/2vkdvmo.jpg)
014 (http://i54.tinypic.com/2s0ddgo.jpg)
015 (http://i56.tinypic.com/2jc6hkw.jpg)
016 (http://i55.tinypic.com/2h71cp0.jpg)
017 (http://i55.tinypic.com/2mmws3k.jpg)
018 (http://i56.tinypic.com/14xktpj.jpg)
019 (http://i56.tinypic.com/maaqyx.jpg)
020 and 021 (http://i56.tinypic.com/25yvi1x.jpg)
022 (http://i53.tinypic.com/23iz7ti.jpg)
023 (http://i52.tinypic.com/4jbbbn.jpg)
024 (filler page) (http://i52.tinypic.com/11v037b.jpg)
025 (http://i54.tinypic.com/xmoeg7.jpg)
026 (http://i54.tinypic.com/11j3yc6.jpg)
027 (http://i55.tinypic.com/ip5wsp.jpg)
028 (http://i56.tinypic.com/2na4dpg.jpg)
029 (http://i55.tinypic.com/33ytlqa.jpg)
030 (http://i52.tinypic.com/hwe4p0.jpg)
031 (http://i53.tinypic.com/ri6mhf.jpg)
032 (http://i54.tinypic.com/35bi1cz.jpg)
033 (http://i56.tinypic.com/kbwoqt.jpg)
034 (http://i53.tinypic.com/11100nm.jpg)
035 (http://i52.tinypic.com/ftj5t.jpg)
036 (filler) (http://i56.tinypic.com/29q1gcp.jpg)
037 (http://i54.tinypic.com/2a5jgj6.jpg)
038 (http://i55.tinypic.com/2vjda8y.jpg)
039 (http://i54.tinypic.com/2czy9h5.jpg)
040 (http://i53.tinypic.com/2q3zv9d.jpg)
041 (http://i53.tinypic.com/23tgy0g.jpg)
042 (http://i55.tinypic.com/ix8lg1.jpg)
043 (http://i54.tinypic.com/34nqnme.jpg)
044 (http://i53.tinypic.com/r70j9e.jpg)
045 (http://i54.tinypic.com/35jxjll.jpg)
046 (http://i56.tinypic.com/2gsgvuo.jpg)
047 (http://i54.tinypic.com/21o9ger.jpg)
048 (http://i54.tinypic.com/10oi2ap.jpg)
COMPLETED ON MAY 22, 2011
PART TWO: EGRET
Pages 049-096. The egret symbolizes not only the nation of Abelon but also its delicate, sophisticated personality.
Comic artwork
Battle of the Dawn (http://i52.tinypic.com/ob05eu.jpg)
Miscellaneous Drawings
Artist's Note, 3/12/11 (http://fc07.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2011/071/0/3/misc__page___12_3_11_note_by_daigonite-d3bhs8m.jpg)
Mainly unused artwork, Julian is used on page 036. (http://i56.tinypic.com/25swphz.jpg)
Mike and Lazlo conceptual sketches/info. Some of Mike's information was removed because of spoilers. (http://i55.tinypic.com/2ryk4tc.jpg)
Naomi (Kouki's older sister) conceptual sketches/info. (http://i53.tinypic.com/2mhd5aq.jpg)
Unused Simurgh artwork. May be used partially in cover art. (http://i53.tinypic.com/2r6pulu.jpg)
Conceptual information about Detlurium Poisoning. (http://i54.tinypic.com/a2w0zs.jpg)
Kouki conceptual sketches/info. Also, Bagara (long-necked sparrows) conceptual sketches/info. (http://i52.tinypic.com/34j3yn8.jpg)
Kouki's mother conceptual art. There's a full body picture but I'm not too fond of it. (http://i53.tinypic.com/2yze6no.jpg)
Kouki sketch (will be used in the next filler page) and some other information. (http://www.deviantart.com/download/206111384/kouki_sketches_blah_by_daigonite-d3epok8.jpg)
It looks like a pretty decent comic so far! I generally dislike comics and graphic novels, but I must say that yours is pleasurable thus-far. Are you planning on having it patented and published in the future?
Hopefully - it's really quite tense for me because half of the people who read it love everything about it, and the other half feel the style is really juvenile. I really hope I can get enough people to back me on this...
its a little rough... the text is the thing i have a problem with. for the most part, the font doesnt suit the comic at all. However - other then the unpleasent font, i really like it... the style is cute and unique. if i was a publisher, id publish it after changing fonts a bit, i think there are people that would definately read it.
have you tried posting it on SmackJeeves? it might be a bit easier to get opinions by using the forums there. you might find some helpful information that way too. just a thought.
seriously though, i really like it.
Having been to the Aleutian islands, I can neither confirm nor deny the existence of any bird-people there.
I like it so far, I was confused by the bird attack though. The way it jumped right to it from Simon's flashback I thought it was part of it, when did he learn Julian's name anyway?
D:
I never noticed that! I can fix the text since I have the raw files. Good catch!
I can change the font to really whatever since I have those files, actually. It was a good idea to keep them this time around o.o
no problem. if you dont mind some advise, i think you should take one of the pages that use text most diversly, then save a few copies of the page each with a different text or font. then, post it, and see what you're friends and current fans think.
also, one more thing, try to avoid comic sans ms, or whatever it was. i use it a lot sometimes, and i know people hate it. its because people dont use anything else, so it annoys the heck out of people when its the only font they see.
hopefully that helps~ :happy:
its okay as a webcomic, just play with the text if you ever wanna publish sometime or something. also, id play with it before i got like... 100 pages in, because you'll be bored out of your mind changing 100 pages worth of comic text ^^; (20 pages is annoying for me)
Page 014 completed, page 005 has a minor edit.
Any suggestions for the font? I want something that's not restricted to all caps, is easy to read, and is a serious looking font.
Times New Roman, Arial, and Courier New are common fonts. For being more serious looking, how about... Century Gothic? It pretty much fits your criteria, and it has a somewhat more serious detail to it because, well... it is a bit hard to explain.
Also, the new page looks good. I wonder what the finished machine will look like?
I'm actually using Times New Roman out of the fact that nothing else fit at all for it. I'm looking for a font that really fits the comic itself, and TNR is the only one thus far that's really fit it. :/
This sounds like a job for 1001FreeFonts.com (http://www.1001freefonts.com/). I don't think I've ever seen a comic with a clean typing font, and thought it matched.
LOL What do you mean we turned into 'derp'!? *chuckle*
I'm Australian.. :happy:
Quote from: ChrisButton on 19, January, 2011, 10:06:05 PM
LOL What do you mean we turned into 'derp'!? *chuckle*
I'm Australian.. :happy:
...what?
I read the summary inside the spoiler.
"The new countries - Samunia (Western Europe), Abelon (US + Mexico), Nordland (Canada), Kainudra (South America), Ethiopia (Africa), Arabia (Middle East), Cossonia (Eastern Europe to Urals), Wanuland (Asia), Nipon (Japan) and Australia (derp) - suffered severe population losses."
:happy:
Oh, I meant that it was the same name. The continent of Australia was not renamed while every other continent was, because the continents essentially became countries but Australia was already both a country and a continent. No offense to Australians, of course.
Actually, it's explained later that Australia fell because Australia was the first continent to be lifted, and the floorplan of the location of the propellers were released to the public domain because people felt that humanity would focus on survival and not have silly wars, especially considering the vulnerability of a floating continent and the death toll involved with such a continent falling to the ground. Of course, that isn't gonna happen.
I thought I misunderstood that LOLs, it's okay! :happy:
I'm enjoying your story. :MercuryDjinni:
Mercury lol. yea its really good Popcorn.
I posted an almost done 015 page, it's not done yet but it's take me a long time.
I'm working hard on redoing page 001; it's taking a very long time.
Here's what I've got done thus far:
(http://i56.tinypic.com/vxg6qx.jpg)
(Julian will be featued on the bottom center)
Basically, the main characters that will be encounted in Part One: Eagle. A little bit of a bio on each of them:
Simurgh (bird on upper center) - The creature described on page 005. Nobody really understands much about it, since it hasn't been seen for over 700 years. Often compared to a phoenix.
Mordecai (warrior on left side with dark clothes) - Abelonian warrior, known for his skills. He seems distant almost to the point of seeming nonhuman. Is the current leader of the Scarlet Mercenary group. Really hates Simon for some reason.
Simon (warrior on the right with blue clothes) - Samunian warrior, considered the best of his class. He has a blade that, when turned on, tears through anything by splitting molecular bonds. Lives with his wife Elaine in a lonely home in the grasslands. Really hates Mordecai for some reason...
Joshua (young red-eyed man in suit) - Part of a mercenary group, a sniper. He seems unnerving at first but he's really a nice guy. He always seems to be with his raven friend Anne.
Kouki (Sketched man on right) - A man from Nipon, known for his ability to heal almost any wound. He is introverted and seems really shy.
Julian (Not pictured, but I'll hit you if you haven't figured out who he is at this point) - The main protagonist. His parents seemingly abandoned him at the age of 13 and he learned to live in the wild. He is clever although rather naive.
Other characters I'm currently mapping out right now:
- Vik (Initial Mercenary leader)
- Fletcher (Initial Mercenary leader, Vik's best friend)
- Matthew (Mercenary)
- Thomas (Mercenary; also a hunter for the mercenary group)
- Diamond (Thomas's dog)
- Prince Jason (Prince of Abelon)
- King Ruether (King of Abelon)
- King Gordon (King of Samunia)
- Rebecca (Gordon's daughter; her existence is left unknown to public)
- Chris (Gordon's son; his existence is left unknown to public)
Mainly the mercenary group and royalty (cuz in the future people just give the finger to democracy). I want to focus on them because they play a special role right near the end of Part Eagle. But of course, I'm not going to spoil anything...
Wow, it looks nice so far. I take it that the background will remain white for now? Just one thing though; where is the light source? Then again, it looks good the way that it is, as it shows your imagination better.
PHEW. I'm done with that... Took me long enough D:
Fairly large update - Page 001 redone, page 015-017 complete, page 018 sketch is up.
Pages 018-024 added.
Looks good so far Charon. I am almost curious about where he landed, as it doesn't look like he made it to Abelon. Still, I should take a look at those characters again.
Page 025 is up. It explains promptly that Julian has indeed landed in Abelon...
Hehe, does he dislike China or something? Nipon is basically most of Asia joined together though, right? One thing that you might want to fix, but I think you spelled "I'd" instead if "It'd" on your new page. Aside from that, I like how the characters have developed so far, and I also look forward to seeing more pages from you.
Thanks for the catch, that's a big reason why I post the pages.
It's a bit of a joke, in that some Japanese people hate to be lumped with the rest of Asia by westerners - and that this trait seems to contrast his normally nice and gentle personality xD. Actually, Nipon is its own continent because they're all floating and Japan is an island... I should have explained this earlier (Which is why I'm thinking about adding a Map Page) but China is a "State" of Wanuland.
Here's another update. This time, with about 8 pages added, as well as some conceptual sketches...
Looks nice so far Charon. I will take another look when the sketched pages are finished, but I like how it looks.
sigh.... i wish i could draw like that XD
GRR
Well, I was busy today. Got pages 033-036 done for you to all see, and 037... is part of the big reveal!
Thought I'd put up the sketches if anyone's interested in how part Eagle ends. Also, there's some misc artwork I did for the comic.
Looks nice so far Charon.
[spoiler]Julian is a Simurgh? I would never have expected that, cool![/spoiler]
That is a rather unexpected plot twist, though it's odd that Julian doesn't seem the least bit surprised about it.
He's kind of caught in the moment... later he's like "oh, wait..." lol, but page 038 makes an attempt at making Julian have the slightest realization of what's going on (maybe I should add text in the last panel...)
But good point. I still have 8 skeches that have been untouched, I could probably make it a wee more obvious.
Sweet, exclusive Simurgh stuff :happy:
Is Simon now a Simurgh or is it just a dream?
I think you mean Julian He turns into a Simurgh temporarily. Remember - Simurghs are a race of people who can transform into phoenixes, it's assumed they can change back. (he will in Part Egret but I have to finish these pages).
[spoiler=spoiler in comic]Also, Kouki makes it painfully obvious that he's one as well on page 047, and he's a human. The whole thing will be explained in Part Egret.[/spoiler]
Nice twist ..... keep it going ^_^
Alright! The pages for the most part are cleaned up with a much better font. What do you all think?
I've finally completed Part Eagle. Whatcha all think?
Hmm... Is it just me (http://i54.tinypic.com/2q8at1e.jpg) or is something interesting (http://i54.tinypic.com/xmoeg7.jpg) going on with the chinaman Niponese man (http://i54.tinypic.com/21o9ger.jpg). Very interesting story indeed, can't wait to see how things progress.
After rereading the entire chapter though I've come to the conclusion that the story is moving too fast, it seems like everything that happens is for the sole purpose of moving the story forward. With all of these major plot events happening in rapid succession there's not much room left for any character development, just as soon as they're introduced they're left behind before the reader can form any attachment to them. It'd help a lot if you slowed things down to give the reader a better idea of who the characters are, what the world the story is taking place in is like, and why they should care about it all. There's just too much action without much to draw the reader into it right now, our only real attachment to the story so far is Julian since he's the only thing in the comic we've seen much of when there isn't a lot of other stuff going on so far.
I couldn't agree more. In Part 2: Egret the focus is definitely going to be development (Julian, Kouki and like 4 other characters stay in the same place for the majority of the 48 pages). I needed to get a ton of stuff set up in the first 48 pages (a lot of it is stuff you don't even realize yet) so that I really felt like I rushed things, and didn't allow much room for development. The intent is that this is one piece of 8 parts, so part 1 was intended to set up the story. I basically wanted to establish in terms of development that Julian's a naive idiot who lets his heart think for him but he's also a Simurgh; most of the other characters kinda play a role of supporting Julian's character than becoming independent (Kouki will soon become an exception though). If I can get a publisher on hand I will insist that this is a single work, not 8 48-page volumes.
[spoiler=other characters]
Kouki develops greatly in Part 2: Egret as well as in sequential volumes.
Lazlo and Mike are reintroduced in Part 3: Skylark as major characters.
Elaine dies at the beginning of Part Egret.
Simon becomes a primary antagonist in Part Skylark.
Robert (currently the unnamed bird-faced man) explains a major plot element in Part Egret.
In Part Egret, several members of the Scarlet Mercenaries are introduced. In order of story importance, the mercenaries are Julian, Kouki, Joshua, Thomas, Fletcher, Vincent, Matthew. Two minor characters Lucas and Mordecai are also introduced, used as props to support Fletcher's, Joshua's, Julian's, Thomas's and (to a lesser extent) Kouki's development. Later in Part Skylark Mitch is recruited and becomes a Chekov's Gunman.[/spoiler]