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The Community => Creative Works => Topic started by: Kain on January 20, 2011, 09:57:58 AM

Title: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Kain on January 20, 2011, 09:57:58 AM
The following events are all true.  No stunt doubles were used, yes there were injuries and quite a few deaths along the way.  Caused by me, happened to me and most definitely was there laughter and crying.

Disco Raptor Kain
Game:  Turok
Settings:  Kain (Raptor) Vs Randy & Ashton (Humans/Aliens), Pistols, Shotguns, Bows and club only.

So there I was, running around like a fool, having the time of my life with the raptors increased speed and massive jumping abilities, my cousins looking for me.  So far they're having trouble killing me unless I intentionally do something foolish like attack them head on or go right out in front of them.  Well out of boredom, I climb onto the top of a crate and just sit up there.  Eventually I just start clicking both the movement stick and the camera stick back and forth in the same direction repeatedly, which I soon discover, much to my amusement for the next few minutes, it makes my raptor dance.

So there I was, on top of a pile of crates, dancing and singing.  "I'm just a love machine~.  And I won't work for nobody but me~.  YEAH BABY!"  So caught up in my show I didn't notice that they had found me and the end result was them getting a point for finally killing me.  Now I had a source of entertainment.  Every time I found a stack of crates, I would climb to the top, start dancing and singing.  It got to the point where the moment I began to sing, they would mumble "He's on a crate." and begin looking for me.

Well this worked well for my advantage.  They would be so focused on looking on top of crates for a dancing raptor that they wouldn't be paying much attention to the ground around them, not realizing that a certain disco raptor was doing the boogie behind them.


Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Salanewt on January 20, 2011, 12:19:11 PM
Haha, sounds funny! Did you sing "Staying Alive" at all? Are you going to do it again? Anyway, go Disco Dino!

Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Frog on January 20, 2011, 12:30:11 PM
Oh wow that's the funkiest strategy ever!

Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: ChrisButton on January 20, 2011, 10:44:52 PM
LOLS, very nice. :MercuryDjinni:

Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Kain on January 21, 2011, 08:11:00 AM
Time for another adventure from the mind of an insane Overlord.

Which way did he go George?
Game: Turok
Kain (raptor) vs Randy (human) and Ashton (alien).  Settings:  Pistol, Shotgun, Club and Bow.

This time I was in the jungle.  Trees, tall grass and lots of hiding spots everywhere for a sneaky raptor like me to hide and ambush people...or so I thought.  Come to find out, this stage had NPC dinosaurs that would attack EVERYONE.  So there I was, sneaking through the grass because that's just what I do, when suddenly I'm pushed and taking damage.

I turn and look, I see nobody.  Suddenly I get hit again.  Not knowing what is happening, I make a mad dash to find some cover behind a giant boulder.  Again I get attacked!  Now I'm considerably freaking out and I began to claw wildly and jump like a maniac all the while shouting and screaming.  "Get back!  Stay back foul beasts!  I DON'T BELIEVE IN YOU~!"

On the outside, it must have looked hilarious.  A raptor hopping up and down in tall grass, swinging wildly at something.  Then before you know it, I'm near death.  "Oh god no!" I cry as I turn and run out of the tall grass into the open, only to find myself staring down the barrel of a shotgun.  "NOPE!" I cry and run back into the grass, barely avoiding shotgun fire as I disappear back into the brush.  Suddenly I'm ambushed and taken down by the dinosaurs again.

"Well that plan went to hell fast..." I mumbled to myself as I respawned.  "But lessons are hard learned!" I shouted as I ran back to the grass and began to take revenge on the raptors that killed me.  At this point, Ashton and Randy had finally ventured into the grass to try and find me, so I had many sneak attacks pulled in there.  If they saw me, I would make a mad dash around the grass going "WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP!" like Zoidberg from Futurama or more classically known Curly from the Three Stooges.

This continued for awhile until they finally managed to chase me out of the grass and into more open areas.  So I ran, zig zagged and hid behind anything I could, all for naught because they would quickly catch up and take a shot at me.  Now, there was a cave we had found awhile back.  I'd only gone into it once before since the only way back out was through the way you went in and it was a maze of tunnels, however there was also a pit that even the raptor could not jump out of, I found out the hard way much to my annoyance.

I was making a dash for that cave when I noticed a small mound up ahead with some grass and trees on it.  Without a second thought, I ran in back and climbed up on top of it and stood there dancing again.  Suddenly I stopped the moment I saw Ashton but he hadn't seen me, instead he ran right passed me and around the bend towards the cave.  A few seconds later and Randy came by as well.

I jumped down from my perch and followed after, not sure what I should do at this point.  Suddenly, the both of them were stopped in front of the cave and were keeping a close watch on the entrance, I slowly walked up behind them.  "Did he go in there?"  Randy asked suddenly.  "I don't know, I didn't see him." Ashton replied as he took a step to the side to get a better view into the cave.

"Well I don't know who we're looking for but I haven't seen anyone." I replied.  "HEYYYY!" they both cried and tried to quickly turn around, only for raptor Kain to start whooping like a madman and dash between the two of them into the cave as they turned around only to miss me completely.  Just goes to show, never underestimate the power of a ninja.


Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: ChrisButton on January 21, 2011, 12:34:06 PM
LOL, another great story.
You're quite the story teller Kain!

Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Kain on January 22, 2011, 09:42:53 AM
Time for another story.

Who the hell do you think I am?!
Game:  Left 4 Dead 2
Settings:  Expert, Single Player Campaign.  Character:  Nick.  Weapon:  Combat Shotgun, Katana.

Things were going terrible in this stage.  After many frustrating restarts and deaths, I was finally making my way through the sugar mill towards the safe house.  I was alone.  My team had long since been killed and it was just me, my shotgun, 56 HP and a crap load of zombies.  Now to those who don't know, the sugar mill is infested heavily with Witches.

To those who don't know what the Witch is, she's a female special infected who has two poses.  In one, she sits in an area and sobs.  In the other, she's up and walking around while sobbing and is actually less hostile.  What makes her so threatening?  If you piss her off (Being in her vicinity too long, shooting her...etc.) she will immediately attack you, the worst part?  She's faster than any zombie in the game, she has a LOT of health...and she can instantly kill you if she hits you, and the sugar mill is one of the areas in the game that lets you encounter multiple amounts of them in one go.

So as I was running through a ton of water in pouring rain (water makes you move slower and puts out fire, obviously.) I found a witch sitting in a puddle, and two of them were walking around the area.  If that wasn't bad enough, the most sinister, kick @#$ and frightening music you could ever hear in your life starts playing as a Tank (a special infected who looks like a zombie on steroids that can easily fling a car around.) starts running towards me.

If that wasn't bad enough...his hillbilly cousin the Charger (A giant, overalls wearing zombie with one huge arm that rams into you, grabs you and slams you until you're dead.) had also spawned in and was trying to attack me.  I quickly pulled out my molotov and flung it down on the dry ground in front of me and began to quickly run back while taking shots at the Tank and Charger.

This was made extremely difficult to fight because I had to watch out for rocks from the Tank, the Charger to rush me and to avoid shooting the witches.  Unfortunately for me, Tanks get a speed boost if they're set on fire, fortunately for me, they are slowed down in the heavy water.  The Charger had finally gotten taken down from being set on fire too long.

The Tank was still trying to get close and hit me or stopping to try and throw a rock at me, which I would quickly dodge by hiding behind a pole or something to block it. last shot vanished from my gun and it was down to the katana.  I was pretty much ready to give in right there because I had serious doubts about being able to kill the Tank.  He ran up to me like a hound of hell and I just mashed the fire button and swung my sword like a madman.  I get smacked, I get sent flying, my health has dropped from 56 to the red.  I wasn't sure where at.  I quickly took out my adrenaline shot, gave myself the slight speed boost and 15% health boost and when the Tank got up to me, I took two more swings and suddenly...he fell over and died.

I couldn't believe I had just done that.  I had fended off a Tank and a Charger in heavy water while surrounded by Witches.  My luck had increased drastically at this point.  I found some pain pills (50% health increase.) and a Scar-H assault rifle.  By taking it slow, I was able to get to the safe room, heal myself and my computer partners respawned once I entered the next level.  And that is how I got the AI Director to hold a grudge against me ever since.  Pic very's the stage I can't even get passed the first level on now because of how cruel and unusual the Director has been.


Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Kain on January 23, 2011, 03:07:07 PM
Another chapter from some book I found lying around somewhere.

Game: Fire Emblem Path of Radiance
Fourth Playthrough on Hard

Here's how the story started out.  I was in the chapter where you have to fight Nina in her red dragon form.  Now she will NOT move from her post, she does NOT have long range and not only does she heal 3 HP per turn, she has 3 elixers on her as well.  I went into this match with all my low levels.  Mist, Rolf, Soren, Astrid, Mia, Marcia, Illyana, etc.  Ike and Boyd were the ONLY powerful units I brought into this fight and they, along with everyone else, was packed down with gear for everybody.  Ike having a custom made Steel Sword and Boyd having a custom made Steel Axe as well.

Those two alone, cleared the entire way towards the boss.  Once I had made it to the boss, I let my lower units run wild.  By attacking her repeatedly, letting my healers heal and letting her heal herself, I stayed in this level for well over 200 turns as I did my exploit.  By doing this...I got Mia from a level 10 myrmidon to a level 5 Swordmaster, Rolf from level 5 archer to a level 5 sniper, Astrid from level 14 bow knight to a level 5 on and so forth until everyone was their next class and at level five.

Soren however...sadly was only gaining 1 exp per fight and he missed nearly every single time, so he gained only one level out of this.  I even gave him a fire and thunder tome, but it was no use.  He just couldn't pull it off.  Mist amazingly got to her next level as well as Rhys thanks to this exploit.  After this, I hadn't used these units again for a bit.

Finally I was at the snow stage where you can fight Naesala, the king of the crows.  I had everyone who had power in them attack him in one turn, but he was just 4 HP away from death.  I sent Astrid up to him, but saw that not only would she not kill him, but he would kill her in one hit.  So I moved her farther away from him.

To my amazement, he managed to reach her on the next turn and in my mind, all hell broke loose.  He had two chances to attack her, both at 91% to hit her and just one attack would kill her.  "OMGOMGOMGOMG GET OUTTA THE WAY!" I yelled, she dodged!  "Yes!  Oh god yes!" I yelled and then she retaliated with her sword and did 1 damage.  Then I remembered, he had another chance to hit her.  "SHITSHITCRAPSHITOHGODSHITRUNDODGEGETOUTOFTHERE!!!  ...DO A BARREL ROLL!" I yelled out, and to my amazement, she dodged the attack again!

So relieved was I that I had literally sank right out of my chair and lay on the floor.  So next time you find yourself in a compromising situation, remember, Barrel Roll is ALWAYS the best choice.


Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Zach on January 23, 2011, 09:20:25 PM

To my amazement, he managed to reach her on the next turn and in my mind, all hell broke loose.  He had two chances to attack her, both at 91% to hit her and just one attack would kill her.  "OMGOMGOMGOMG GET OUTTA THE WAY!" I yelled, she dodged!  "Yes!  Oh god yes!" I yelled and then she retaliated with her sword and did 1 damage.  Then I remembered, he had another chance to hit her.  "SHITSHITCRAPSHITOHGODSHITRUNDODGEGETOUTOFTHERE!!!  ...DO A BARREL ROLL!" I yelled out, and to my amazement, she dodged the attack again!

So relieved was I that I had literally sank right out of my chair and lay on the floor.  So next time you find yourself in a compromising situation, remember, Barrel Roll is ALWAYS the best choice.


91% and both missed? The RNG Goddess found favor in you (if it's anything like FE7's RNG system)

Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: ChrisButton on January 24, 2011, 02:19:41 AM
You are so lucky :!:

Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Kain on January 24, 2011, 07:13:23 AM
Before we begin another riveting tale, I believe I should discuss some information first.


Game:  Minecraft
Kain of the North Star
Settings:  Survival Multiplayer.  Monster spawning is on.  Armor wasn't working during this update.

These things EXPLODE when you get close to them and cause massive damage to, not only you, but the area and anything in it.  Anyways...Role and I were on a server, digging around in Kolima Cave.  I had gone there to handle some monster problems in exchange for the vast amount of cobblestone they had so I could continue work on my castle.

So I had climbed to the top of the area and was laying down torches and lightstone to keep monsters from respawning all the while dealing with the various monsters in the area.  Zombies, Skeletons, Spiders and a few Creepers.  All I have on me is a Diamond Sword which is nearly destroyed and stuff to put down, I also had only two hearts left.

My sword is broken in a few minutes by a skeleton.  I was going to leave when I noticed something.  Three Creepers.  I was going to shrug it off but then I noticed that they had jumped off of the top area and were heading towards something.  My eyes widened.  They were sneaking up on Role.  I dashed ahead of them and dropped down.  Without a second thought, I went Fist of the North Star and began to punch like no tomorrow.  Right as one Creeper began to hiss and explode, I punched him back and jumped back at the same time, avoiding the explosion.

The next two Creepers were still running towards me, so I resumed my barrage of fists and took down the second before he even got within range to explode.  The third one got close and began to hiss, I gave him another punch but I hadn't jumped back in time and took some damage.  Amazingly, I still had half of one heart left.  With the threat averted, I laid down some more torches and left Kolima to restock and heal myself.  Just goes to show, sometimes being a hero works out.

Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: ChrisButton on January 24, 2011, 08:24:58 PM
Hero, hero!
Sign of a hero!

Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Kain on January 25, 2011, 08:13:09 PM
Time for another story.

Left 4 Dead
You traitorous swine!
Online multiplayer.

So I'm talking with some friends of mine and we all decide to meet up in a lobby on L4D.  Now the bad part of this is, there was five of us, and only four could be on a team at a time.  So we went into a group chat and they went onto a team with each other while I went onto the enemy team.  as the match started, we all agreed to help each other out, so I tried to attack them as few times as I could while helping them back up if my "teammates" incapped any of them.

Later on, we got to the level where the survivors have to run from the bottom of the hospital all the way to the rooftop.  On this run as a zombie, I got the Tank.  Instead of wiping out the survivors like the Tank is supposed to do...I escorted the four of them all the way to the safe room.  My team tried to stop us, but because I can just smack them and kill them instantly, they had no chance of taking them down, especially with me in front of the charge, wiping out most of the common infected with a few swipes of my muscular arms.

Now unless we couldn't help it, the five of us ALWAYS made it.  Out of my team, I was usually the only one to make it.  Finally we got to the finale.  On this, we had to get on the rooftop and call for the escape helicopter.  My team played as infected first.  One of them had gotten the Tank and I did my best to help out in killing him but the infected don't do much damage to each other so responsibility fell mostly on the survivors to deal with him.

Once they had managed to get upstairs and actually summon the helicopter is when I started to show actively hunt down my team and kill them.  Even on times when I had gotten the Tank, because the chopper won't show up if neither of the two Tanks dies, I would just jump off of the roof and die.  Once the vehicle arrived, I had respawned as a Hunter.  The four waited by the chopper for me to jump on and then they all jumped in and we took off.

Now the hilarity began as it was my teams turn to play survivors.  Just as we got upstairs and were running down the hall towards the roof, the Tank spawned for them.  Suddenly over my mic, "Kain.  Run passed me." so I did.  My teammates shouts of "WTF!?!" nearly deafened me as I had an evil smirk on my face.  My friend managed to kill my entire team by himself as I alone got to the area, activated the escape vehicle and held off against the tide of zombies that rushed me.  My infected friends did their best to help, but once more, they could only do so much and it fell to me to be able to survive this.

However, I got passed both incidents of the zombies and when someone would get the Tank, we would all stop and just mess around.  Running laps around the area, jumping up and down while spinning and other random things.  Finally the helicopter arrived and since it was just me alive with a Smoker, a Boomer, a Hunter and a Tank, I had to wait for them to all get on the vehicle first or else they would get left behind.  Once all of them were squeezed inside, I jumped in and we took off.

Just goes to show, people can have friends in the most unlikely of people.


Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Kain on January 27, 2011, 01:24:11 AM
Left 4 Dead
Do I have to do everything?
Settings:  Blood Harvest on Expert Multiplayer.

The last stage of this map is the most frustratingly difficult for some reason.  There was me, my dad, my cousins Randy and Ashton, we had two 360's linked together and were playing like that.  After a few restarts from getting killed repeatedly, we finally made it to the farm house.  After much arguing over WHERE to hold up against the horde, I finally won the argument and said we should be on top of the barn.  There's only two ways in and we'd have our backs to the wall and we're right next to a pile of ammo.

So after we stocked up on items, healed and reloaded our weapons, we went up to the barn.  Me with my auto shotgun crouched and took the front with Randy next to me.  Everyone else had M16 Assault Rifles.  As we were going, I told them pick one spot to defend and do not let ANYTHING get through.  What happens?  Two of them are nearly dead.  That is, Ashton and Randy.

Finally here comes the first Tank.  We run out of the barn because we don't want to be cornered and the three being to fire on him at sight because their weapons have longer range.  The Tank climbed up to our spots and we scattered and jumped down.  At that close a range though, I began to fire and help out.  From the rooftop, the Tank threw a boulder at Ashton and knocked him over.  Without hesitation the thing ran towards him and began to smash him into the ground and before we knew it, he was killed.

The Tank turned and smacked Randy who was next to him and he was knocked down.  Just as quickly, he was on Randy and beating him to death.  Once it was finished with him, it turned and launched a boulder at my dad who got knocked down.  Right as it killed him off, I finished off the Tank.  Everyone was saying "You're not going to make it passed the next horde."  They were wrong.

I ran back into the barn, reloaded and grabbed some ammo and got into the corner.  I held off every common and special infected that dared to climb up after me with unbelievable accuracy for an auto shotgun.  I hadn't gotten touched once through the entire thing.  Suddenly, they stopped coming and the music for the second Tank started playing.  I got off of the barn and kept running circles around the house with my duel pistols out.  Pistols have unlimited ammo so I kept going around and taking pot shots at him while I dodged everything.

Eventually he died without touching me.  I grabbed the pipe bomb from my cousins corpse and right as the escape vehicle appeared I tossed it to distract the horde and jumped inside, taking my spot as the only survivor.  Pic related, it's who I played as.


Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Kain on January 27, 2011, 08:30:20 AM
Little Big Planet
The misadventures of Sack Boy and Kain

So my cousin Randy buys this game and is after and after me to play it.  Now, I wasn't very interested but I decided to humor him and try it out.  He let me borrow it for a day and I only got passed the first world because I still wasn't sure how to do half of anything on this game.  The next day he wants me to go co-op with him and I decided sure, why not?

He takes me to the near end of the game on his own save file and expects me to be some sort of expert for this game simply because I had it for a few hours.  Now I don't know the layout of the levels he's taking me on and he's getting frustrated with my constant deaths because we only have so many respawns at a save point.

As we were getting to a jump, unbeknown to me, he jumps up and grabs onto one of the swinging things attached to the roof.  I jumped late and I didn't get as much height as him and the only thing I managed to nab ahold of were his legs.  Now, it is pretty difficult for a new guy to try and swing on a rope while hanging onto someone else and I had no clue he was going to attempt to jump to the next swing as we were because right as he let go to jump at the height of the swing, I pulled back on him because I thought we were going to get more momentum and thus...pulled him out of range of the swing and down to a pit of death.

Randy was NOT happy to say the least but despite constantly getting killed and (mainly being the cause of it.) I was having a blast.  Pic related.  It was my face most of the time.


Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: ChrisButton on January 28, 2011, 12:51:24 AM
Re: Left 4 Dead stories.
That's always what happens to me, my team just doesn't know how to survive.

Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Kain on January 28, 2011, 08:28:48 AM
White Knight Chronicles
Noobs.  Noobs everywhere.
Multiplayer.  I'm a Spear Tank.  My partners are three Longsword users.

Okay so...what a lot of people don't realize in WKC is Longsword users are meant to be the damage dealers of the group.  Their attacks are powered mainly by their agility stat, which helps them dodge and avoid knockdown as well.  Strength also factors in but not as much as Agility.  For spears?  Vitality increases the power of our attacks, which is also the stat that increases our defense.  The ideal setup is LS's are to be in cloth or at least light armor so their speed isn't hindered.  As a tank, it's my job to be in heavy armor.

What do I have here?  Three longsword users who have ignored agility, prioritized only strength, ignored Dexterity...the prime stat that lets you HIT ANYTHING and they are all wearing heavy armor.  At this point we are getting ready to do the most spammed quest on WKC, Best Served Cold, also known as Big Red Runs because the boss is a fire giant named Big Red.

This is by far the EASIEST quest in the game that by the time you are level 25, you can do the first tier version of this quest by yourself.  On the second stage, he is considerably stronger, but it is possible to defeat him with just one person.  As I enter this quest, the three immediately burst out laughing at my build for being a spear tank.

Then come the insults and boasting that LS is the best class around, as is natural of LS idiots who don't do anything but this quest repeatedly.  I just sigh and ask if we can just do the quest.  They laugh again and tell me to go kill things since it's obvious I'm going to be nothing more than a leech on this run.  I shrug, and the match starts.  I start building up ability chips so I can use my stronger attacks and combos.  Once I got my bar full and was ready for the fight, they had just made it to the boss.

They all said they could do this quest by themselves and told me not to interfere at all.  However I noticed something that was very, very wrong.  Their health wasn't full!  They either had a quarter to full or near half left!  Seeing how the three of them simply ran to the boss and ignored the enemies the lack of HP made sense although they could have stopped to heal, but to to also ignore the enemies and not gain ANY AC?!

The three immediately went to work on attacking him...with Slash.  The default, second weakest and simplest attack that the Longsword has.  Cue facepalm.  Granted they were doing a little bit of damage, but compared to how many times Big Red was knocking them over and how long it took for them to get up, it wasn't even worth noting because before they were even fully back up, Big Red would stomp on them, swipe at them or smash his club down, thus causing them to either fall down again or to get knocked backwards a bit.

Two minutes later and they were all on the ground dead.  If there were a facepalm emote, I would have used it.  Instead I had to settle with sigh.  So I pulled out my spear and five minutes later, I single handedly killed the boss without reviving any of the LS users.  Once we got back to town, all three of them blocked me.  Not my fault Big Red used his ultimate move and shattered their pride.  But hey, if you tempt karma too much, it will get back at you.


Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: leaf on January 28, 2011, 08:10:34 PM
Hm... too much combo, not enough stupid longsword users. Not one of your better ones, unfortunately.

edit: Much better. +Rep and +coin.

Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Rolina on January 29, 2011, 02:13:27 AM
He's not lying about Longsword users.  The rarest thing you'll EVER find in that game is a person who's using that weapon correctly.  Worst part is, they made fun of him for being a 'worthless tank', despite spears being the most powerful weapon in the first game.

I've been made fun of for being a mage, too.  They shut up when I one-shotted the entire group that was kicking their asses.  God, I hate Longsword users... How much I'd give to work with one who wasn't an idiot.

Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Kain on January 29, 2011, 09:32:06 AM
Time for another story.

Modern Warfare 2
Come closer...
Team Deathmatch

I had no idea what to expect because I was still new at the time, so I joined some random game and I went with the riot shield.  Now to those who don't play, the riot shield can block all bullets.  It can even help against some bombs but not if you're directly next to them or if a grenade launcher hits you right on.

Anyways, the match starts up and I head north.  Pretty soon I run into someone and freeze.  I quickly put my shield up and crouch to protect my feet and the guy starts shooting at me while I start waddling closer.  Well he starts backing up while shooting before he finally gives up and runs away.

I get back up and chase after him.  He turns around after some time and sees me still after him and he starts walking backwards while firing randomly.  I have my shield up and am still heading towards him.  He starts getting frantic as he's backing up and just unloads everything he has.  Grenades, flash bombs and he even pulled his pistol out, though that may have been because he wasted everything firing at me.

He finally backs himself into a wall and the panic that went on in front of me was hilarious.  He began jumped and moving around like crazy while still shooting, afraid to take his eyes off of me.  Once I got close he tried to knife me but because of the shield, it's not working and at this point he seems to realize there's a door next to him.  But it's too late because I had already been bashing him with the shield and when he just managed to take a step outside, I killed him.

On the battlefield, you have to keep your wits about you.  Otherwise you wind up getting bludgeoned to death by a riot shield.


Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Zach on January 29, 2011, 06:04:30 PM
Be happy that he wasn't smart, otherwise he would've thrown the flash grenade and kill you from behind OR if he had a sentax (spelt wrong), he could throw it at your shield (it sticks) and kill you :P

Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Rolina on January 29, 2011, 10:54:31 PM
It's an FPS.  You expect people to actually fight intelligently?

Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Kain on January 30, 2011, 07:24:50 AM
Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2
Super Kain Kamikaze Attack!
Team Deathmatch

Well it's later on in my career of this game and I'm simply hunting for awards to level up and I decided to try and kill someone and myself with a grenade.  Well it's not as easy as one may think.  Most of the time, you run into people and they either kill you or you kill them and that leaves no chance for you to cook a grenade and kill them.

Well one day I was running around looking for someone to try and sneak up on when what to my amazement, there's someone standing near the doorway to a shack.  Right as he turns and looks at me, I had pulled the pin of the grenade and began to run towards him.  Instead of shooting me, he panicked, backed up and tried to run away, only to hit the dead end in the shack.  He turned just in time to seem me run up to him laughing like a maniac before the grenade exploded in my hand and killed the two of us.

The hate mail afterwords was so worth the laughs though.  Just goes to show, if you don't do the smart thing and take care of the problem, it'll just come back to bite you in the butt.


Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: RTGreece21 on January 30, 2011, 10:51:09 AM
lol. i totally wish i could see the mail, that musta been way too much fun XD

Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Zach on January 31, 2011, 12:23:43 AM
It's an FPS.  You expect people to actually fight intelligently?
Some people do and when they do....... O_O

Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Rolina on January 31, 2011, 09:26:00 PM
When they do, they're usually your friends gathered together for a gaming session.  If it's just some random person, odds are it's some punk @#$ kid with a rated X mouth and his joyful jock buddies.

Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Kain on February 01, 2011, 12:54:12 AM
Dead Rising 2
I've got your back.
Multiplayer.  I'm at the max level.  My friend is level 2

So we were messing around in DR2.  My friend is pretty new to it and had asked me for some help with the game, to which I agreed and we were now on a level up run for him.  Every time you rescue a survivor you get anywhere from 5,000 to 10,000 PP...or experience points in this game, and with my help we were going at a fast rate.

Suddenly, the two of us jump on the little pink bicycles and start having a race.  As we were racing, we found the mail cart and he stopped to investigate, not knowing that it triggered a boss fight.  Once the postal mail man began attacking us, he asked me to stay back and see if he could handle him.  I laughed, oh how I laughed.  But I told him go ahead, I'll be on standby.

So as he was doing that, I pulled out a Pain killer drink (made by mixing beer and beer in a blender.  It heals a lot of HP and decreases the damage you take.) and waited.  After many run up and hit him attempts and running away while trying to shoot attempts only to get bombed, shotgunned, kicked and smacked with the shotgun until he was dead (to which I revived him with the painkiller.) he finally gave in and told me to deal with him.

Now he did well.  He took the boss 1/8th of the way down.  I equipped my knife gloves (made by combining a bowie knife and boxing gloves.) and ran up to the guy.  My friend was mumbling, (That isn't going to work, he just shot me.) right as the guy aimed at me, I ran to the side, knowing full well he doesn't turn fast and when he fired, I rolled out of the way, much to my friends amazement.

The mail man was shortly stunned after firing three shots in the same direction, so I ran up and started slicing him.  I got in three slices with the gloves and the mans health was below half now, much to my friends shock.  The mailman ran away and was dropping bombs as he ran.  I stopped and rolled backwards to avoid them.

Once he stopped in one spot, I got behind the pillar and waited for him to move again.  He did so and when he stopped, he started doing the aiming thing again.  I ran around him and when I was at his back side, he fired his three shots and I finished him off.  My friend got 12,000 PP and leveled up.  "Okay...from now on, you're on boss duty!" he told me.

I laughed and said, "Alright.  Let's go fight another one." and we took off to go do the "Everybody Knows Slappy" quest.  Now, for those of you who have played the game, you may have thought Slappy was pretty freaky (I still do.) and he was hard to fight.  Now something you may not have known is, his voice actor?  The same voice actor for Light Yagami from Death Note.

Once we got to the area, my friend asked me.  "Just how good are you at this game?" to which I replied, "Way too good."  He laughed for a bit and said, "Fine.  Kill the next boss without any weapons." I turned and looked at him.  "Alright." and he got silent.  Now I've only told Role this but I have been finding ways to kill all the bosses without the use of weapons and without getting hit.

So when the Slappy fight started, I jumped up and kicked him when he came rolling towards me.  He fell on his butt and I ran up and power punched him twice and rolled away.  He got up and started spinning in circles with his flamethrowers active.  I waited until he started to die down and I ran up and kicked him again, knocking him down again.  I kept this process up for about three minutes, each power punch taking off a small, but noticeable portion of his health until I finally killed him.  Barehanded and without taking damage.

My friend then declared that it was now my job to fight every boss.  I wouldn't have it any other way.  It just goes to show, if you've got the skills, don't be afraid to implement them.  Some may hate you, some may love you.  But that's the risk you take.


Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Kain on February 01, 2011, 10:05:31 AM
Modern Warfare 2
One Bad Man
Multiplayer.  I'm using Commando (Extended melee distance and no falling damage.), Lightweight (Move faster, ability to aim after climbing up something is faster.) and Marathon (Infinite sprinting and faster aiming.)  I even took the time to get 75 kills with a pistol to unlock the Tactical Knife, which speeds up my knife attacks.

So our team is losing pretty badly to some group of players who actually know the meaning of teamwork.  They never split up and they must be communicating by mic, I'm not sure, I just jumped in.  So far I've been unable to even take one of these guys down and they're the only ones on the other team.  I finally saw a chance when I had managed to sneak around and they were running towards something.

I quickly chased after them and one by one before they all even realized it, I went person to person and knifed them all in the back.  One after another, I killed all five of the enemy team, getting me the medal for doing so, getting the medal for killing their lead player and suddenly, we won the match due to them quitting.

Then, came the hate mail.  I kept this bit of hate mail and it was close to being deleted, but I have it and I'm posting it all here.  I'm editting out their names and curses.

P1:  You backstabbing fa**** why don't you try fighting us up front and fair?! F***ing fa*.
RE:  It's a war game, there is no "fairness" in combat.  I could easily complain about five of you taking up an entire enemy team but that'd get us nowhere.
RE:RE: Fu** you you piece of sh**.
RE:RE:RE:  No thanks.  I'd have to kill myself if I ever got intimate with you.

P2: WTF Cheap.
RE: True, it was a cheap shot, but you can't tell me you wouldn't do the same.
RE:RE: you got me there.

P3:  (First guy I knifed apparently.) cheap a** camper try fighting instead of hiding next time
RE:  Not my fault you guys were too busy to notice me and, oh, I don't know...stop.  Turn around and shoot me.
RE:RE:  im gonna kill your fa**** a**
RE:RE:RE: You mean like you did after I stabbed your entire group?  (no reply after this.)

P4: lol gay.
RE:  lol lrn2watchurback

P5: you suck man.  i cant believe the number of people who do that run and knife bullsh**.
RE: It works, much like how you were noob tubing across the map.
RE:RE: yeah but at least the grenade launcher isnt cowardly.
RE:RE:RE: Oh yeah, firing grenades across the map from distances nobody but snipers can counter is REALLY brave.
RE:RE:RE:RE: better than back stabbing
RE:RE:RE:RE:RE: and tell me who rage quit after getting stabbed?
REx6: ur just a fu***** fa****
REx7: Aw, boo hoo.  Cry some moar, your tears are delicious.  You know if you spent half the time you do complaining watching your back, you wouldn't have this kind of trouble.
REx8: stfu bit** ur just a cheating a**h***
REx9: Says the noob tuber.  Learn to use an actual gun.
REx10: shut up it's a legit tactic
REx11: So is camping, but nobody likes it.  My attack was also legit.  It's a freaking war game.  There are no rules.  My objective is to kill you by any means necessary.
REx12: if i ever see you again im going to kill you
REx13: Not likely but whatever.  If you DO see me again, it'll most likely be me knifing you from the front.
REx14: u fu**** knifer
REx15: If I got close enough to knife you in the first place, you deserve it.
REx16: just stfu

Well it turns out, I found P5 in another match later and guess what...I knifed him again!

REx17:  Hey, miss me? =D
REx18: i fu**** hate you
REx19: Trust me, the feeling is mutual.  Bye~!


Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: ChrisButton on February 01, 2011, 11:19:06 AM
LOL at knife story.

Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: leaf on February 01, 2011, 07:58:33 PM

logs were gold, especially the last one

Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Tetsuya the Azure Blade on February 02, 2011, 12:15:16 AM
What a bunch of sore losers. They should've remembered that it's only a game.

Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Kain on February 02, 2011, 04:54:14 PM
Left 4 Dead 2
Jumping Jack Smash

Yes, the title is the name of an achievement.  Moving on.  So I joined a random lobby on L4D2 and my group started with the Infected first.  Now as we're playing, we're getting our butts handed to us.  We have barely even damaged the survivors at all and they're too close knit to try and break apart.  We had absolutely no plans, my team was half mics, half no mics and the two of us that had mics...the other guy wouldn't help me think up a plan.

I got the Hunter and I went and spawned in one of the hotel rooms.  My plan was to try and pounce one of them when they came around the corner and hopefully if any were close, they'd suffer knock back and let me damage them a bit.  Well as I was waiting, my team was getting pissed that I wasn't doing anything.  One of the no mics suddenly got a mic and started yelling at me to do something.  "Yeah, yeah.  I've got a plan...hold your horses." I replied back.

When the survivors finally got around to getting near the room I was in, I waited for them to be right around the corner and I crouched.  The Hunter makes no noise when he's standing up, thus you can't tell he's around.  But once he crouches, he starts growling.  Once I got ready to pounce, they came around the corner and I leaped.  I jumped too far but the results were unbelievable.  I hit the player using Coach, and the knockback from my pounce hit the other three characters and they stumbled backwards and fell off of the ledge, making them incapacitated while I killed off Coach, thus winning the round for us because none of the survivors could save each other.

No one believes me when I say even though I can win the match for us if we get a Tank, give me a Hunter and I'll start doing damage.  Just goes to show, you don't need the best to outshine the rest.  A little bit of planning and your worst could be the best thing that ever happened to you.


Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Zach on February 03, 2011, 01:41:38 AM
I LOVED that last Modern Warfare log. Best one yet :D

Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Kain on February 04, 2011, 02:31:09 AM
Alright folks.  Time for another tale.

Left 4 Dead
Brothers in arms

This is a story on how I made one of my friends.  I had found a random lobby hosting the game and right as I entered the room the match started up, it appeared I was on infected.  Figuring it was no big deal, we started playing.  Now all of us had mics but we weren't really working together, yet both teams were able to keep the other from winning, thus making every stage a tie.  Finally, we were on a stage in Death Toll I believe and we were getting hit BAD.

About the middle of the stage the enemy team got a Tank and he managed to kill two of us.  The two of us that survived and managed to kill him?  We were in the red zone, heavily injured.  "If we're going to make it...we're going to have to work together." I told him.  "Yeah." he replied back and with that, we continued on our way.

Immediately he's grabbed by a Smoker and here comes a Hunter to get me, I quickly kill the Smoker to free him and then call out the Hunter, who right as it pounced me, he killed it.  We started moving again as fast as we could, considering our state of health, we were moving slowly.  Here came a horde.  "Get in the corner." I told him and he did.  I crouched down and pulled out my pistols since they had longer range than my shotgun and the two of us held off that horde.

Once the horde was done, we went outside onto the street and he got pounced.  I was getting ready to turn when I saw a Smoker and he shot his tongue at me.  I quickly fired like a madman with my shotgun and it killed the smoker.  I turned and killed the Hunter that had by now incapacitated him and right as I picked him up, I got hit by a hunter, but my health was really low, so just it landing on me incapacitated me.

Once he got the thing off of me and got me back vision went black and white.  "I'm almost dead..." I muttered.  "Me too." he said.  "Alright...let's do this." I told him and we were off again.  A Boomer, two more Hunters and a Smoker all attacked at once.  This is where I got my Dead Stop's where you punch a Hunter as he's pouncing you and stop him.

I shot the hunter, then I shot the smoker.  My ally got covered in boomer bile and right as I killed the thing, thinking it couldn't get any worse..."BWEEPBWEEPBWEEPBWEEPBWEEPBWEEP!!!" the loud wailing of a car alarm went off.  "Aw!" I told him.  (He killed the other Hunter, btw.)

Right as we made it to the door, we ran backwards while firing everything we had to stop the horde.  I turned and opened the safe room door.  "Get inside!" I told him and he quickly did while I covered him going in.  Once he was far enough inside, I started to amble in but I got grabbed by another Smoker!

Thinking I was about to die, I put my controller down and was about to tell him to shut the door when suddenly machine gun fire went off and the sounds of the Smokers death filled the air, along with my character coughing.  Realizing he had come back out to save me, I quickly picked my controller back up and made my way to the safe room.

We were the only ones of our team who made it to the safe room and because of our actions, we managed to secure enough points ahead of the other team to win, despite the ties in the later stages.  Just goes to show you, in times of desperation, even complete strangers can work together like they've known each other all their lives.


Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Kain on February 04, 2011, 07:40:50 PM
Yo!  Kain here with a small announcement.  As some of you may have noticed, I've done a pretty decent job at posting a new story every single day.  However, at the rate I'm going...I'm going to burn out, my story quality is going to drop, the readers sometimes have trouble keeping up with me and throw in the fact that if my work isn't top quality, I'm not screwing myself over, I'm screwing you, the viewer over because you have to suffer through my terribly written work.

So I've decided to change Storytime with Kain to twice a week.  Tuesdays and Thursdays are when I will post a new story.  This gives me time to rest up and remember a few of my other tales, and it gives you guys who stopped reading, a chance to look back at a story you may have missed.

So, today is the last story from me until next Tuesday.  I hope you enjoy it.

Mario Kart Double Dash
Settings:  Kain as Yoshi, Randy as Wario.  We're playing the cup where you have to race all 45??? cups in a row, on Mirror Mode.

So there we were.  We were on the VERY last race in the cup, barely with a 3 point lead.  We had to get first place on this match or we would lose the cup and have to start all over.  The computers were certainly making things difficult for us.  Now, Randy loved Mario Kart, but he wasn't good at driving so I did all the driving and I had him on item, attack and defense duty.

We were in first!  We were cruising along with a huge lead!  There was no possible way we could lose!  Suddenly out of nowhere, a blue she-wait...a BLUE SHELL!?!?!  OH CRAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!  We got hit!  Oh good, we're fine...they're still back there and there's just five feet to the fini-RED SHELL!?

Oh god...come on...we can still make i-GREEN SHELL!  What are the odds?!?!  Just as we recovered from that, THUNDER BOLT!  Then Toad ran us over!  We reshaped, then Bowser came charging by and spun us out!  Then suddenly a Chainchomp fly by and hit us!  Then a guy with a starman!  Then to add insult to injury, someone left a banana peel in front of us...we took last place and lost...we took sixth place because of this loss.

Randy was so pissed.  It had taken HOURS of convincing him to play this game again.  We had gotten this far and he was upset and slightly burned because of 150CC of this race.  But now we would have to do it all over?!  Needless to say, even I agreed with him and we took a month off.  The bitter taste of defeat never leaving for that entire month.

It just goes to show, life will give you lemons, but sometimes you lack the tools to make the lemonade.  So eat up and take your puckered eyes and lips with some dignity!


Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Zach on February 07, 2011, 01:59:38 AM
Wow, the game really hated you, but, even still, awesome story :D

Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: JamietheFlameUser on February 12, 2011, 03:54:38 AM
I played Modern Warfare 2 once, let me tell you, the riot shield is amazing. It's the one weapon I can actually do something with. I like the one time where the guy I was playing against tried to shoot me from behind just as I pulled out my pistols so I could move faster, making the riot shield block the bullets. And I survived several copter and jet bombardments with my riot shield. Then there was the time I lay down in the grass with my pistols out, and he walked up without spotting me, so pumped about 20 pistol shots into his stomach and killed him.

Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Kain on February 13, 2011, 04:48:30 PM
As you may have noticed, SWK took a plummit and hasn't been updated in a few days.  Well I'm going to give you two stories today to make up for Tuesdays and Thursdays lack of a story.

Call of Duty Black Ops
You got me dancing.
Team Deathmatch

So the match suddenly started and I was running around.  My build was the Scorpion, an SMG with high power but bad accuracy, a few flash grenades and the throwing hatchet, along with a pistol as my alternate.  As I was going around the stage looking for someone to kill, I went underground and suddenly me and another player saw each other from about ten feet away.

I froze, I was in the middle area with no places to possibly hide and with my SMG there was no way I could win in a gun fight against his assault rifle.  Suddenly, he began to fire and out of instinct, I started moving counterclockwise around in a circle, much to both of our amazement, I dodged every single bullet he fired at me.  Before his shock wore off, I quickly ran right up to him and knifed him.  I believe this was the first time I've ever gotten called on for hacking.  Just goes to show, sometimes it's not hacks.  Sometimes they're just better.


Fallout New Vegas
Character:  Yoen  Gender:  Female  Class:  Close range unarmed fighter  Weapon of Choice (at the time.) Bladed gauntlet

I had just started playing this game and I was out exploring this brand new world known as the Mojave wasteland.  It was quite different from the Capital Wasteland from Fallout 3 but so far I was enjoying every minute of it.  Soon, I came across this town called Primm.  As I was heading in, I noticed a couple of ammo crates inside of this tent looking thing and walked up to it.

The cursor turned red and the words at the bottom of the screen said Open Ammo Box, meaning if I took whatever was inside, it would be considered stealing.  I did a quick look and didn't see anyone before I suddenly helped myself to the ammo inside.  No sooner had I closed the box when suddenly a voice yelled out, "Hey!  Put that back!" and immediately I started looking around before suddenly the pain icon appeared to my right and the sound of a revolver being fired filled the air along with my characters cry of pain.

I quickly turned and in an instant, I was on him and with a well aimed punch with the bladed gauntlet, had not only killed the man, but cleaved off his right arm and his head from his shoulders.  Once that was done, I suddenly got a warning that said I had gained Infamy with the NCR.  Now I was still new to this so I didn't really care at the time nor did I know who the NCR was.

His attacking me and my current fame led to all the other NCR characters in the area to open fire on me the moment they saw me, so I wound up killing everybody I came across.  Once that was settled, I did some other things like finding a new sheriff for the town, helping out by killing some escaped convicts and rescuing some captured people.

This went on for a bit and I saved and warped somewhere.  As I was walking, I saw two figures suddenly come running towards me.  The scary part was how FAST they were moving.  I didn't even think anything could run that fast.  Suddenly, this women with aviators and a giant ranger hat on stopped in front and spoke to me.  "Seeing as how you haven't pi**ed your pants yet, I figure you don't know who we are.  We are rangers from the NCR.  We've gotten word that you've been causing trouble.  We're here to give you a warning.  You have three days to clean up your act, or we're coming for you."

Scoffing, I pulled out my gauntlet and tore into her, only to do minimal damage and for her to turn around, pull her pistol out and shoot met once and I was dead.  Quite shocked, I reloaded and tried this again.  The third time I tried luring her around with grenades and mines and the last time I actually tried to fight with guns.  Nothing I did was saving me and she or her partner would kill me quickly.  Needless to say, I had a mission and that was to get my reputation with the NCR fixed in three days.

After much questing and doing jobs/chores for the NCR I was on my way to a new location recommended to me and suddenly, four Legion assassins suddenly appeared and pulled out their machetes.  I knew I was in for one hell of a fight when suddenly...four gunshots roared out and the assassins fell over dead.  Not sure what was going on, I turned around and it was the two NCR rangers from yesterday!

"We're just here to remind you, you've got two days left to fix your rep with the NCR."  and with that, the two were on their way...and I was left speechless, shocked and most of all angry.  The message was clear.  'We can kill you anytime we want.  We're just being nice and giving you a chance.'  Needless to say, my resolve was only strengthened.  It just goes to show, you don't want to mess with the wrong people because they may just be more than you can handle.


Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: JamietheFlameUser on February 28, 2011, 12:37:22 AM
Someone respond to this so Kain can post more funniness!

Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: RTGreece21 on February 28, 2011, 04:24:07 AM
yesh, we certainly needs more, but is bumping really the solution? wont that annoy someone? o.o

Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: JamietheFlameUser on March 01, 2011, 02:46:38 AM
Someone like myself? On second thought, yeah, probably. But that last one was still funny.

Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Kain on March 01, 2011, 04:09:08 AM
Demons Souls
Why would you do that?!
Kain: Temple Knight  Dragon Longsword, Purple Flame Shield, Lava Bow, Crushing Battle Axe + 4, Old Kings Armor

Role and I were playing Demons Souls and we were trying to get through the mines in stage 2-2 to fight the Flamelurker.  Well we were making good time, I was alive and the host, she was the blue phantom.  We had made it to a halfway point where you first meet Patches and we had our first encounter with Bearpillbugs.  Giant pill bugs that either jumped on you at medium size, or at any size, had a massive stinger they used on you from their mouth.

The one thing these monsters all had in common, save for their smaller forms, were they all blew up upon death.  Now as we were exploring and killing off these things, we had encountered a flying type.  Role had the best dexterity, the stronger bow and was the long range fighter anyways.

Role had told me, "Stay back, I'll take care of these." but, they were getting very close to the ledge at a point where I could hit them.  So I was edging my way closer and closer, attacking any of the bugs that got close.  Until...I got next to the ledge.  "Kain....get back..."  "I got this one!" I replied back, dragon longsword in hand.  "Take this!  Lunging AttaaaaAAAA

-Kain died like a bi***.  Session over-


Lesson learned.  Next time, stay behind the fence.


Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: leaf on March 01, 2011, 04:12:46 AM



Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Rolina on March 01, 2011, 04:25:53 AM
Yes, Fleta two shots these things and mister BRILLIANT GENIUS here takes several hits to take them down.  Several hits which, might I add, cause his character to move forward.  Needless to say, I was not amused, especially after CLEARING OUT EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE LEVEL for him while he was AFK!

Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Kain on March 29, 2011, 07:46:45 PM
Real life
Skype voice chat with Role and leaf.

So we were in the midst of a conference call and something came up where I had began to look for something on my entertainment stand.  Now, at the top of said stand, is a giant stack of manga, magazines, CD cases and video games.  As I was looking for my item, I had unknowingly started to shake the stand around when I was moving stuff.  The movement caused my stacked pile of objects to start to sway and slowly slide off of each other and lean towards the edge.

As the conversation went on, I had noticed one of my stacks of manga was starting to fall so I reached up and pushed it back before I went back to my searching.  I had pulled a large object out from under my stand and it made the stand rock heavily.  I caught a glimpse of the items tipping over the edge and all I mustered was "DEAR GOD NOOOOOO!" before the loud noises of crashing books and items overtook me.

When I regained my senses, my headphones and glasses had been knocked off, my room was a mess and all I could hear aside from my groaning was leaf and Role howling with laughter on the mic for a full six minutes.  Lesson learned.  Stack those books better next time.


Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Rolina on March 29, 2011, 07:51:42 PM
All the more reason you guys should join our Skype channel.  All sorts of hilarity goes on there.

Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Salanewt on March 29, 2011, 10:25:23 PM
Wow, that must have been a huge pile. Did anything break, or were you fortunate enough for everything else to stay in their previous states?

Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Kain on April 03, 2011, 01:28:07 PM
Sala:  Nope.  Nothing broke.  Some of my Arizona tea spilled onto my monitor but I was fast enough to clean it up thankfully.

Fallout New Vegas
In Times of Struggle
Yoen.  Level 30.  Enclave Power Armor.  Enclave Power Helmet.  Ballistic Fist.  Euclid's C-Finder.

At this point in the game, most of my stats were near maximum (since I was on the max level up without the DLC.) and for the last few of my perks, I started to take perks that increased my Damage Threshold...which pretty much reduced all damage I took.  With all my DT combined with the armor AND the implant I had installed on me gave me well over 58 DT, pretty much making me indestructible to most attacks.

However, when I went to The Fort, which was the main stronghold for Caesar's Legion, I was attacked on sight because of my vilified nature with them.  It was so bad, Caesar himself and his guards came out of their hut and chased me.  Now I can take them no problem, but when I'm ganged up on, my DT was pretty useless so I actually had to fight intelligently.  Finally it go to the point where I was running laps around the camp with this giant group following me.

Figuring I had nothing left to lose...I changed my weapon to Euclid's C-Finder.  This weapon is in digital contact with an orbiting satellite that shoots a massive laser at wherever I aim.  I stopped, turned around and faced the charging group.  The laser wouldn't fire right on them if I aimed where they were.  I'd have to aim very close to myself to get them in the blast.

I pointed the gun a small distance from myself and pulled the trigger.  As the lining beams appeared I screamed out, "Limit break!  PONY GOD ROAR!" (Don't ask.  Blame leaf.) right as the group got into the middle, the laser had come down and everything went to hell.  An explosion happened.  The blast was so strong, that anything caught in it was sent flying.

Pieces of the Legion soldiers were sent flying everywhere as they were destroyed from the contact with the laser.  The laser also sets the area it hit on fire which also hit me because I was caught in the blast.  I too was sent flying from the attack and after it was finished, all my limbs were crippled, I had almost no health left and upon inspection once I stood up, I was alone.

I limped over to Caesar's body, fully intending to take the Displacer Glove that he had on when suddenly, he started to get up!  I raged.  How the heck did he survive that attack?  "Oh, screw this!" I shouted before I did a power punch and smacked Caesar right in the face, the force of my punch sending his head flying clean off of his shoulders.

Sighing, I looted his body and limped out of the camp.  Lesson learned...I can survive direct blasts from an orbiting laser.  Very good to know.


Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Kain on April 07, 2011, 02:39:45 PM
Champions of Norrath
The stuff I put up with
Kain:  Berserker  Randy:  Dark Elf Magic Knight  Ashton:  Wood Elf Mage

As our quest began, we were asked to choose what type of hero we would be.  Now you only get four choices with two alts between male and female, but regardless of gender everything is the same.  Each class can wield certain weapon types (excluding the berserker who can use all weapons.) and each have their own unique spells and abilities.

Well Randy's dark elf got the ability to summon a skeletal warrior to assist in combat.  I found out much later through boredom while we were out collecting ten bear a**es that if I used my rushing shoulder ram on it, I could instantly destroy it.  Kain now had something to occupy his time with.  "Shoulder ram!" I'd say and the skeleton would be dead.

"Hey! Stop it." Randy said and summoned the skeleton again.  A few minutes later... "FACE MY WRATH, SKELETOR~!" and I bashed into it again.  "Geez this guy!  Look at you!" Randy complained (don't ask.) and summoned Skeletor again. (Yes, the name stayed.)  By now, I had on my best troll face.  Just as we ran into a boss and were getting ready to charge him, I shouted out, "By the power of Greyskull!" and destroyed the skeleton again.

"God da** it Kain!" Randy was yelling at me as he was too busy dealing with the swarm of enemies helping the boss to summon his skeleton again.  "Whaaaat?" I asked innocently.  "Geez, we need the help right now!" Randy yelled right as he managed to summon his skeleton again.  "You this?" I asked as I rammed into the entire group of enemies and sent the lot of them flying, killing some, injuring many and dispelling a certain summon once more.

Ashton was laughing too hard and dropped his controller.  Randy paused the game and shook his head, although I could see he was amused.  Lesson learned, don't summon around Kain when he's bored.


Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Griever on April 07, 2011, 07:49:47 PM
Very nice ..... Kain you should consider writing a book -.-

Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Kain on April 07, 2011, 08:18:23 PM
I actually do have an original story but I don't know about actually writing it.  If it becomes a chore, I get to a point where I don't want to do it anymore.  Maybe I'll write it down one day and show it to people but for now it's just going to be one of my little projects that haven't seen the day.

Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Griever on April 07, 2011, 11:02:35 PM
Ok you will have to tell us if you do write it -.-

And those small projects of yours can be collected into a big PROJECT.

Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Kain on April 10, 2011, 04:33:30 AM
Happened hours ago, I kid you not.

White Knight Chronicles
A power too much for mortals
Azure Dragon 3 fighting Water Direspider mini boss alone.

So the four of us began this quest but immediately we split up (or rather...I got split from them.) and wound up going after one of the bosses by myself.  Well after fighting with it for some time, I got bored.  So bored that I made a copy of my ultimate combo attack and renamed the copy to PnyGodRoar.

Finally I just sat there and let myself get hit for a little while since the boss only needed one more hit to die.  I began typing on the chat box.  "Ah jeez...I don't know if I can handle him by myself!"  to which the others replied.  "Oh crap.  Hang in there!  We're on the way!" and I suddenly got the message that they had just killed their second mini boss.  My health finally got down to critical and typed "It seems I have no choice...I must use my ultimate technique."

Guy 1:  O__O

Guy 2:  What?

Girl:  What technique?

"I must use...the Pony God Roar." I typed.  Guy 1 went >.<   Guy 2 said lolwut   Girl said omg...  and right after they finished saying that...I used it and when you use a's announced to everyone on the team.  Kain used PnyGodRoar attack!  Now during my activation, they all literally "..." until I killed the boss and the message "Direspider #3 Defeated!"

Guy 1:  OMG!!!

Guy 2:  I LOVE IT!

Girl:  Oh god...I can't believe that.

I didn't get to hear much else however as Geonet disconnected shortly after but the reaction at the time was hilarious.  Lesson learned, everyone loves ponies.


Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Rolina on April 10, 2011, 05:05:32 AM
Ha ha, oh wow.  Nice, Kain.   Nice.

Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Kain on April 24, 2011, 11:10:01 PM
Real life
Much Ado About Horses
5 in the morning, I'm asleep.

So I was sleeping when suddenly I'm awoken by the sounds of my dogs going crazy.  I took a glance out the window and saw a horse walking down my driveway.  "'s just a horse." I said as I put the covers back over my window and laid back down and started to go back to sleep.

"WTF, a horse?!" I said as it dawned on me and I sat back up and looked out my window.

My cousin Randy had the same reaction as me when he was in the living room.  It was humorous to say the least when I later learned we did the exact same thing.


Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Kain on July 01, 2011, 05:14:20 AM
Call of Duty:  Black Ops
Going out with a boom
Escalation map with the stretch of road and the two bridges on either side.

So I was checking out the new map packs for this game and I was running around haphazardly through the stage since I didn't know the layout that well and what better way to learn than to explore right?  So as I'm running around, I suddenly find myself facing an enemy player a good distance away from me.

Acting on reflect, I got into cover behind a phone booth, not sure if it was going to protect me or not.  However, my fears were soon put to rest when he unloaded his entire clip at me and the phone booth protected me from the attack.  Feeling cocky, I called out from the mic "HA!  You missed!  You can't hit me with that pea shooter!"

Now my plan was clear.  Once he was done reloading, I would pop out and eliminate him.  An SMG on this game isn't good for direct combat so I had the upper hand, not only in power, but accuracy and I thought.

For when he popped back around the corner, he did not have an SMG in his hands.  Oh no.  He had a missile launcher.  "Oh, @#$%!  An RP-" BOOM!!! I was dead before I even turned around to run.  He shot the ground near me and took me out with the explosion.  If only I'd been wearing flak jacket.  Whoever you are, you win this round.


Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Kain on October 25, 2011, 05:08:45 AM
White Knight Chronicles 2
It's Morphing time?
Vellgander Section 3  (I think...)

I had joined up with some randoms to run the third section of Vellgander because they wanted to complete it and get an S rank on it.  So the five of us set out to work on the quest.  Now as it stood, they were decent players but the lot of them were acting like fools.  They transformed the moment a giant monster was seen, (in case you don't know, when you transform it takes all your AC and MP and you will have none when you revert.) the longswords were using their longest animation attacks that take six seconds to dish out mediocre damage and they were casting spells.  As a longsword, spells are worthless to you for use.

The other two mages in the group didn't have healing magic and the bow user of the group refused to use any support skills like dark shot or paralyze tip.  After much hassle, we managed to get to the boss fight against a human unit named Dragias.  The longsword immediately went into knight form and two seconds later, I kid you not, Dragias one shot him and forced him to revert.

The longsword/mage hybrid transformed and attacked the units helping Dragias...she was soon taken down by the two soldiers who transformed into Gigas. (Which are giant monsters.)  The other mage transformed and took down a gigas but was again, killed by Dragias.  That left me and the bow user.  I looked at the bow user and typed "Your turn?"  to which they transformed.

Just like the first knight, Dragias one shot them and they were forced to revert.  At this point, we now had a near dead bow user, two dead mages and the longsword user was currently trying to avoid dying and me...who was ignored through most of the fight since I was using weak attacks to get my AC up.

Once I hit 15 AC, I transformed.  Dragias did his flying sword rush which one shot the other knights, but only hit me for a bit of damage.  I could take four more of those attacks and still not need to heal.  I focused on the last Gigas and managed to kill it.  It was the Beta, meaning it could drain MP so I had to prioritize killing it.  When it finally fell, I turned to Dragias, who had managed to slay the rest of my group on his own.

I used Revival Powder on the bow user who set to work on reviving everyone else.  Meanwhile, I spammed strong slash.  When the attack hit Dragias, he was sent flying and got knocked down.  By the time he would be getting up, I would already be using the attack again.  For the rest of the boss fight, I knocked Dragias around like a ragdoll while my "team" helped by attacking him.

Once we had finished the fight, we got the S rank and went back to town.  The other four called me a showboating @#$%&*!# and left the room.  I shrugged and went on my way.  Just goes to show, some people just can't play RPG's.  Some people shouldn't be allowed to play RPG's.


Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Tan on October 25, 2011, 05:18:27 AM
Some people should be shot in the face.

Also the longsword parts say everything.

Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Kain on November 04, 2011, 05:46:43 AM
Mario Kart 64
It's a me, your worst nightmare!
Me as Yoshi.  Kellen as Mario.  Daniel as Luigi.  Jr as Toad.  Battle mode in the four forts.

It was a bright, beautiful day when I woke up on the couch at my families house with five cats sleeping on top of me.  After wiping the sleep from my eyes, I noticed everyone else was either just waking up or some people (Jr and Kellen.) were already playing the 64.  Myself and Daniel grabbed a controller and patiently waited for them to finish their race before we started up battle mode.

We each had our favorite characters to use.  I had Yoshi back in the day.  After we chose our characters, we chose the forts for the battle stage because we all loved to put up defenses and try to invade each others areas.  Suddenly, as I was laying down a row of bananas, the three of them attacked me.  "Get him!" Jr called out and I had to stop putting up my defense line and drive for it as the three of them immediately teamed up against me.

"You bastards!  I won't forget this!" I yelled as I drove to the top of the green fort I was occupying.  Suddenly I get hit with a red shell and knocked off the side of the fort where I fall all the way to the bottom as I bounced off the second platform.  Well they drove off and were fighting each other when I grabbed some green shells and managed to sneak up on Kellen before shooting him.  "WHAT?!  You again?!  I thought we got rid of you!" he yelled as he tried to run away.

Suddenly, Toad came barreling into me surrounded by shells.  "Take THAT, you big green lizard!" Jr said as he tried to turn around for another try at running into me.  I quickly smacked into Mario, but Toad didn't care and wound up smacking the plumber, missing me in the process.  Just at that time, Daniel, who was using Luigi, tried to run in and get into the brawl, but got in the way of Toad and got hit with the last shell.  "Nggaaaaargh~!" was the odd but hilarious sound he made when he got spun around.

"You fool, you wasted my shell.  I was gonna get rid of Godzilla." he said as he drove off to find an item block, leaving me with the plumbers.  I tried to shoot my last shell at Mario, since he only had one balloon left, but I missed.  I turned tail and drove off because Luigi still had two balloons and was my biggest threat at the moment since he had a red shell, but instead of attacking me, he turned and shot at Toad, who had returned.

"REVENGE!" Daniel called out.  "You dirty chest beater!" Jr called out as he turned and shot Luigi with his green shell, leaving the Mario Bros with one balloon each and Toad with two.  Mario drove up to him and spun, hitting him with a horde of bananas.  "That's for hitting me you mushroom." Kellen said.  "I'll deal with you later, now where's that big lizard?" Jr said as he drove off to find me.

Then I reappeared on the scene.  I had a platoon of banana troopers following me and red shells on standby.  "You're all gonna pay!  ALL OF YOU!" I said as I charged.  "OHSHI- That lizards packing heat!" Jr said as he turned and drove off the side of the fort, the Mario Bros following him closely as I gave chase.

The chase was on!  I launched my bananas ahead in hopes they would run into them but they dodged all of my shots.  I pulled out my red shells and launched one.  It went after Luigi who took a sharp  and went up a slope.  The shell collided with the wall.  No matter, my target was Toad.  I fired another shot and this one went after Mario.  "Oh crap!" he said as he took the corner and vanished from sight.  The shell collided with the wall once more and Toad drove up the ramp.

"You're not getting away!  I will have my revenge!" I shouted as I chased him up to the top of the fort.  He started to cross a bridge and I fired my shot at him.  Suddenly, he dropped a banana and stopped my shell.  "Aw crap..." I said as I followed him before I suddenly noticed that there was something wrong with the item blo-"IT'S A TRAP!" I shouted as I hit the brakes.  Toad turned around, armed with shells and I was stuck trying to not hit the fake block.  "If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can ever imagine." I warned him.  He didn't listen and shot me.

He then drove off to find the Mario bros with his last two shells.  Just as he found them, he fired but missed both times but they weren't paying him any attention.  They're attention was on the driving bob-omb that was chasing after Toad.  "You forgot I turned into a bomb when I die, didn't you?" I asked aloud as Toad was running from me.  "Shush and get away from me you crazy bomb!" he yelled and with that, the chase began anew as I had all three of them on the run now.

"WE HAVE Toad in the lead followed closely by Luigi followed by Mario followed by one crazy bob-omb  as they go around the fort!  Here they are at the drawbridge and OH NO Luigi was pushed off the ramp by Mario!  What a tragic turn of events ladies and gentlemen, but that has not deterred the rest of the group as they keep on the run from the mad bomber!  We'll keep you informed with BOMB WATCH(TM)!" I began narrating as I chased them in circles around the map.

Nothing they tried could save them.  Bananas paused me, shells only halted me for a few seconds.  Luigi finally began to launch green shells like a mad man, causing the things to ricochet everywhere.  Finally, after keeping the chase up for a good hour and a half, I finally wiped out Toad who went after Luigi, resulting in the red plumber winning.  "Whoo, that was fun."  "Yeah.  Mario Party?" "Oh hell yes."

This picture was my face when Mario Party was mentioned.


Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Kain on November 04, 2011, 06:11:19 AM
Those were wonderful times.  I'd give anything to visit them again.

Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Kain on April 05, 2012, 02:12:16 AM
Resident Evil Operation Raccoon City
I don't see nothing wrong with a little bump and grind.
Multiplayer, Survival mode playing as Vector.

For those who don't know, survival mode is you're put into a 4v4 scenario and have to hold out until the helicopter arrives.  Once it does though, there's only enough room for four people and it doesn't discriminate who gets inside.  So the match starts up and I'm just running around, gathering supplies because for some reason or another, I have terrible luck with finding other players on this game.

Well after getting three kills in and surprisingly surviving the entire round with no deaths, we hear the announcement that the chopper is here.  Quickly, I leave the building and make a run for it, but one of the enemy team is running in front of me.  As we get to the plane, you have to hold X to climb aboard while standing there.  Unfortunately for her...I was still running and held down the attack button.

Like a freight train, I smashed into her, sending her flying away from the chopper and into a small group of zombies while I quickly climbed aboard the vehicle.  Once she got up, she began to try and kill me.  Unfortunately for her...once you're on, you're considered saved and are thus, immortal.  It was a great round for the team as all four of us managed to be the ones to escape.  Picture, very much related.


Title: Re: Storytime with Kain
Post by: Kain on March 26, 2016, 06:18:47 PM
Now I'm sure some of you remember my old Call of Duty stories.  But what I'll bet you DIDN'T know is I had a recent run in old buddy Player 5 from the knife story!

I met him again on League of Legends.  I thought the username looked familiar and then it hit me, he had the exact same name.  The conversation went a little something like this.

Me:  Well **ck me, look who it is!
Him:  ???
Me:  I'm sure you don't remember me but I sure remember you.
Him:  the **ck you on about?
Me:  Remember that time in Call of Duty where you thought you and your CLAN were so big and bad because you kept noob tubing across the map until I came in and stabbed all five of you in the back?
Him:  holy **ck it's you
Me:  I guess you didn't learn your lesson back then.  Looks like it's time for remedial classes.
Him:  Quinn counters Garen.

*two shouts of Demacia later*
Announcer:  You have killed an enemy
Me:  Well ain't this **cking familiar?  You running away and I come charging in from the back and stab you.
Enemy teammate:  He just rage quit.

Well after that match was over, I did buy him a gift and now he's on my friends list.  Everything went better than expected I guess.