It have been 50 years since the grave eclipse. Kraden still travels with Rief around the
world. Then in one day in Tonfon, Kraden went to meet Ryu Kou, the member of the Sanan royal family. And now he is the ruler of the Tonfon. But he wasn't in the throne room, he were at the Library.
With him there was another men. He looked familiar to Kraden and then Kraden spoke.
Kraden:Good day Ryu Kou.
Ryu Kou: Oh it is you Kraden.Err where is Rief?
Kraden:He decided to go around.
???:How like him, ah to bad.
Kraden:This voice...Felix?
Then the person came from dark side of room and Kraden really was surprised it is truly Felix.
Felix:It's been a long time.I see the effect of lighthouse granted to you nearly endless life.
Kraden:It's the same thing to you.Time does really small effect on us 1year to us is like a day.
Felix: Yes it is.But for another things. Kraden Can I ask for you a favor?
Kraden:What is it?
Ryu Kou:It is a stone of sages.
Kraden:What?
Felix:I got one of these and used to revive four persons.
Kraden:Do you mean?
Saturos: Yes!Us!
Saturos,Menardi,Agatio and Karst entered the room.
Kraden:Felix do you understand what you done?!
I like this writing style, which mirrors the games.
However as a newb, I'd also like some "behind the scenes" or "directors's commentary," since I'm sure I'm missing most of the more subtle stuff.
[spoiler]
Perhaps you could write that extra stuff in spoilers
[/spoiler]
Err yes. I have in mind this story.
This can bee really interesting.
Each evening I will post another part of the story.
I remember in GS1/GS2, Kraden was known as a wise man/scholar... so he may be a useful character.
Ryu Kou/Sana = Sounds sort of foreign, to me, but maybe it's because I'm not use to those names. You could probably tell us what kind of Adept he is, and what he looks like.
QuoteI like this writing style, which mirrors the games.
Maybe, but we're going to need
several proof-readers if this is going to be a masterpiece. (As should be the case for most writers.)
For example, we could vote on how the lines should be written:
Felix:I got one of these and used to revive four persons.
Felix:I got one of these and used it to revive four people.
Felix:I got one of these and used it to revive four of us.
Ryu Kou.
this character is in dark dawn.
Simple.
Hard pain,sorrow and agony is in Alex. He have faced ancient guardians any monster, but there was not such foe who could put a god fight to Alex.He found himself cursed. Any one who worked with him.Saturos and Menardi, Agatio and Karst, Blados and Chalis have perished.Alex tried many times to self-destruct but all attempts was in vain.
After the travel with Mathew into the dark weyard Alex saw the soft and warm thing called love.
Alex remember all things of that adventure. It happened a year after grave eclipse.
Fight to open another portal to light weyard. Then to stop the psyenergy vortex and the war against Tuperang. This happened two years but even the blow in tuperang castle in the Zenith tribe.
Alex still survived...
After this adventure Alex said farewell to Isaac and others. Then he made floating castle and in his small castle went in long sleep.
After passing 30 years Alex awoke and once again started his wanderings around the weyard.
Right now Alex is wandering around the weyard, but after some days he suddenly meats an old friend.
[spoiler]So this was second part of my story. in this post I wrote about feelings of Alex.
Plus small history fun made what could happen after eclipse.[/spoiler]
So is this like a fanfic? Or are these ideas for a sequel?
Anyway I like it.
Oh. I guess Ryu Kou never appeared in the first two games?
I sort of wished I should have googled him before asking, because the first result proves he's from GS3.
Seems like a lot of lore that I don't know about?
@Luna_blade: To me, it sounded like a story for a new game, but maybe it could work for a fanfic?
-Deleted-
Kraden and Rief were waiting for Alex. Alex stepped on land. Walked some steps and then looked at Rief.You so much remind me your mother.Alex turned to Rief and walked towards to him.
Kraden then stepped in-front Alex.
Alex:So the blow of Anti alchemy god truly made us all immortal.
Kraden:Yes. We are immortal because we killed the dark wise one.
Alex:..and the blow give powers that are inherit only by wise one.
Kraden: Actually this power made time to us almost noneffective.
After moment Rief walked to Alex and said.
Rief:Alex...you are in grate danger.
Alex:Really?
Kraden: It is so. Do you remember Northen fire clan warriors?
Alex:What about them?
Rief:They are revived.
Kraden:That is not all.They have got the same power you have.
Alex:Who revived them?
Kraden: It is Felix.
Alex:Felix? Ah I see. He really got mad.Reviving those who were destined to die...
Rief: what do you mean?
Alex:Well how can I put this?You see it is been 80 years since they died.
Kraden:Really so long...
Alex:The presence of those who are gone can make changes in this world.
Kraden:What kind of changes?
Alex:Kraden have you been at the secret room of the anemos sanctatum?
Kraden:Well I remember of an healing spring...
Alex: No! Not the room that healed all your illness.I am talking about the room of ancient
texts.
Kraden:Newer been in there.
Rief:Newer mind but tell us what is so important about this room!
Alex:Whats the rush?
Kraden:Rief! Calm dawn!
Rief suddenly stayed calm and said no word.Then Alex warped himself behind Rief and put his hand on Rief's shoulder.
Alex:It is all right.
Kraden:Alex does in this room is a book about the situation like this?
Alex:Better I show this room. Lets go!
Kraden Rief and Alex warped away and only Small light was left behind for a second...
If you wish to comment the story go on.
I will be happy to read your comments.
Our patience is running out.Where is he?
Felix:I..I don't know. He was on that island.
After moment Saturos turned to Agatio and took deep breath.
Saturos:Do we still need him?
Agatio:Better get ride of him now or later he will betray us like in Jupiter lighthouse.
Karst:Traitors deserve death!
Saturos:No we can't kill him!
Felix:That is right I revived you all.And you must listen to my orders!
Menardi:Really?
Saturos:Hahaha... don't make me laugh.
Agatio:If someone kills him then we will die with him.
Saturos:Of curse but we won't kill him.
Agatio:What do you mean?
Saturos:We will left him in the island. In the island of Takui.
Karst:Takui?
Felix: NO!
Felix took his sword and raned into Saturos.Sword gone through his body.
Agatio made powerfull punch to Felix and he fainted.
Menardi:Saturos! Agatio quick warp us to Prox.There he will be healed.
Karst:Don't worry I will take good Care of Felix.
Karst and Felix warped to Takui but Agatio,Menardi and Saturos to Prox.
[spoiler]this part is about situation in Saturos party.[/spoiler]
Yellow flesh of light appeared in Takui island.Then on island stayed Felix and Karst
Felix:Karst wait don't leave me here.
Karst:Why do I have to do this?
Felix:Do you know why I revived you?
Karst: Why? Don't ask me stupid question!
Felix:Because I love you.
Karst:You are 80 years too late.
Felix:What?
Karst:Do you know what happened after you lit mars beacon?Of curse you don't!
I and Agatio waited for your party to resource us.But you left us for ded.
Felix:No it's not like it!
Karst:I don't believe you!
Suddenly Karst take out some mystical poution.
Felix:What is it?
Karst:This?It is a poison.
Felix:Poison?
Karst toke of tears from her eyes and spoke.
Karst:use it well.
Karst placed poison on stone then after some moments warped herself away
Felix: Karst! NO!
Felix was left alone in Takui island. This is it the end of Felix...
Keep up the good work. This is getting interesting.
Quote from: Luna_blade on 11, April, 2014, 02:03:23 PM
Keep up the good work. This is getting interesting.
Sure it is. :happy:
Alex:Braden have you found something?
Kraden:Well...perhaps.
Rife:Look at this book.
Alex:What is it?
Kraden:Lets see.Here is written about ancient spells and it's effects.
Alex:Can you make translation?
Kraden:Yes but it will take some time.
BKaden took paper from his bag and started to thanslate.
Alex:Rife can I talk with you?
Rife turned back on Alex and ignored him.
Alex:Rife, why do you still hate me?
Rife:Because you are traitor of mercury clan!
Alex:But science that day have passed 80 years. And do you remember what I said back then in Apollo leans?I said I am not that Alex you know.I am not power seeking monster.
Rife:Then explain yourself.Why you don't return to Imil?
Alex:Rife you see...
Rife:And why you betray any with who you work?
Alex:The last time I betrayed someone was 50 years ago.
Rife:I don't believe you!
Alex:But then I helped to you at Zenith tribe.I saved you and my son...
Rife:Amiti...
Kraden:Dear god!
Alex:What is it?
Kraden:Look at this...
Well let's make a vote.
I finished story and it has 14 series.
Do you wist to post in day two series.
Vote until tomorrow in this hour.
...? I'm sorry what do you mean? What do I have to vote for?
For the continuation? Then I say yes.
Nonono.
Vote to increase the story posting.
2 series per day!
Karst just returned in Prox.First thing that she noticed was that it was dark.Then she was walking to Saturos house.the place in which were Felix parents kept.All villager's were asleep so nobody didn't noticed her.Agatio was standing outside the house and were nervous.
Karst:How is he?
Agatio:I don't know.It is a badly wound.Anyway we can't help there.
Karst:I see.Agatio do you too notice this?
Agatio:What?
Karst:It is really dark.
Agatio:just like then when the lighthouse...
Karst:What is happening?
Agatio:I don't know.We must check out the Mars lighthouse.
Karst and Agatio reached Mars lighthouse entrance and first thing they noticed that the entrance was not unsealed. When they climbed lighthouse they noticed that no puzzle were solwed.
And at Aerie they saw theta what they truly feared the lighthouse Bacon isn't lit.
Agatio:What is going on?
There once was revived person called Kentos.He was a noble warrior who perished in war between Lunar clan and Mars clan.Kentos knew powerfull Umbra Psyenergy. He was called Umbra Lord.
Then in battle at Magma rock. He was killed by four Mars warriors.We tried to revive him and we did it.Then after some days in weyard stayed dark and started eclipse. Kentos was killed by strong Umbra monsters and then eclipse stooped.
Alex:..
Kraden: It is not all listen to this.
There was made rule to not revive anyone.It is all because of last time when because of reviving raised eclipse.but the members of venus clan ignored this rule and revived they leader. Eclipse didn't appeared so they decided that this is all right.After two years pepole noticed that the edges of world decayed. World wittered away with no reason.After all the lighthouses aren't sealed.Leader of Venus clan understand that it is because of him and killed himself. After some months world raised once more.
Rief:So after reviving someone to weyard hepens something terrible.
Kraden:It seems so.
Rief:Lets go outside is dark. We shall go to inn and sleep this night.
Alex:what are you talking about?
Rief:It is late after all.
Kraden:What's wrong Alex?
Alex:Lets go!
They exit the anemos inner sanctum and looked at north.
Alex:It can't bee.
Kraden:What in name of...
Rief:The lighthouse...
Jupiter lighthouse is unlit...
As I said 2 series in day.
there is total 14 series.
Nice. But I have some guestions:
Who are the Luna and Venus clan? Are the members human or not?
Also Umbra=Dark right?
There are 6 types of adepts(I heard)
Venus adepts :VenusStar:
Mars Adepts :MarsStar:
Mercury Adepts :MercuryStar:
Jupiter Adepts :JupiterStar:
Umbra=Luna=Dark Adepts :Luna:
Sol+light Adepts. :Sol:
Hmm okay. I never played DD so that's probably why I didn't know that.
Alex was depressed. He deceased to go and talk with someone.Kraden and Rief were asleep so he deceased to warp himself away.Fresh breeze and warm houses. He warped himself to Imil.
He locked to mercury lighthouse and saw it. The beacon isn't shining.He went straight to Mia's house.
In house was light. It appears Mia isn't asleep. Alex knocked the dorr. Amiti answered door.
Alex:Amiti...can you please talk with me.
Mia:who is there?
Amiti:It is Alex.
Alex entered house and stayed at entrance.
Mia:What do you want?
Alex:I wish to talk with you and Amiti.
Amiti:We have nothing to talk about.
Alex:Please son.I wist to bee with you and Mia.Just this night ok?
Mia:I think it will bee all right.
Alex: thank you Mia.
All night they were talking and were happy that they are together.Amiti too found forgiveness to his father but still had small rage to him.Alex truly felt this love to his son.Mia was happy that hers cousin truly have changed.At morning Alex said farewell and warped away.
How is he...
Menardi:It seems he have regained his strength.
Agatio:Then Where to warp?
Saturos:To Tonfon.
Menardi:Saturos.Are you sure you should stand?
Saturos:Don't worry about me.We must concentrate on our duty to kill Alex.
Karst:You are right.
Saturos walked to his room.Menardi followed him.Saturos looked depressed.
Menardi:Whats wrong?
Saturos:We are close.If we kill Alex our bound to this world will be cut of.After death we will be free.But.As long Alex is alive we are left here to wander around the world.80 years we were wandering.Arrgh.
Menardi:We will do this.Belive me.Felix revived us because he thought the bound is so grate that he could create an army of ancient warriors and we were test.
Saturos:Menardi.We have stooped Felix.It seems he got insane at eclipse.
Menardi:At any rate in world cannot happen another war or the alchemy must be sealed again.
Saturos:It's like it.
Agatio came in the room.
Agatio:It is time.
Alex:Here we are.
Kraden:So in Tonfom must be an information about the time when Alchemy was sealed.
Rief:what do you wish to find in this books?
Kraden:Information about that How long weyard wasn't wittering and crumbling after alchemy was sealed.
Saturos:Do you wish to know how long?
Menardi:A year ore two.
Alex:Saturos.It's been a long time.Don't be shy show up in-front us!
Saturos:As you wish.
And suddenly in-front Alex,Kraden and Rief appeared Antagonists of the strong times.Of those times when Things predicted by ancient civilisation came true.In-front the Alex party appeared... Saturos.Leader of Mars adepts.The Warrior of Mars.
Menardi.Partner of Saturos. Known as Girl-death.The strongest women of Mars adepts.
Agatio.Second strongest men of Mars adepts.Right after Saturos.
Karst.Partner of Agatio.Menardi sister.Her abilities are very close to her sister.
Saturos:Alex.it is good to see you again.
Menardi:Well If it isn't Kraden. We meat again.
Karst:Why you are protecting Alex?
Kraden:Well...
Rief:That in not your business.
Saturos:You are right.Oh what a glow inside you.This power...Menardi do yousee this child power.
Rief:Hey!I am a men in ages.Just I am aging really slow.Just like Kraden.
Saturos:I have seen this power.This power was possessed by that water adept.
Menardi:Do you mean Mia?
Saturos:Yes Mia.But who are you?
Alex:Let him bee.I am the reason why you are here.
Saturos:Alex.Who is he.We promise that we wont do any harm to him.
Kraden:Saturos.Remember You are men of word.Because of that we will tell.Rief is Mia's son.
Saturos:Unbelievable.Tel me Rief How is she.
Rief:She is holding pretty well.
Agatio:So are we killing Alex or not?
Saturos:Not here.Let's go.
Saturos party vanished.
Rief:Help!
Agatio:Alex!If you wish to save the boy go to Island of Nalture.
Agatio vanished with Rief.
Kraden:What to do now?
Alex:We have to go now!
Kraden and Alex Warped away.
After some time they appeared at Nalture.
Kraden:It is an peninsula.
Alex:Rief where are you?
Saturos:He is here with us.
At the opposite edge of peninsula was standing Saturos Party.
Alex:Hand over Rief!
Saturos:Menardi realise him!
Karst:It seems Alex have changed.He hasn't betrayed them.
Alex suddenly casted spell and trow away Kraden and Rief.Then he casted spell which made ground splitting.Peninsula started to drift away.
Alex:Kraden and Rief.Tel my son Amiti that I am proud to have a son like him!
Kraden:Alex!We will tell him.
Then Kraden used warp stone and warped away with Rief.
Saturos:Hohoho.what a courage. Unbelievable.
Menardi:Your achievement is for nought.We will kill you and then we will warp away.
Agatio:We are not simple brutes.
Karst:Poor dead.This is it for you.
Alex:Then lets the battle begin!
[spoiler]Final battle is near.Stay with us tomorrow and you see the end...[/spoiler]
Like said before, I haven't played DD, but I can't find information on Tonfom/Tonfon...
So did you make this place up? And were is it located?
Tonfon is in DD.
There it is near endless wall.
[spoiler]I can tell you as much as I can but you won't understand.[/spoiler]
Islands Takui and Nalture are fun made islands.
Alex cast Megacool!
Saturos takes 243 damage!
Menardi takes 287 damage!
Agatio takes 265 damage!
Karst takes 242 damage!
Agatio casts Rising Dragon!
Alex takes 465 damage!
Saturos casts Inferno!
Alex takes 164 damage!
Menadi casts Supernova!
Alex takes 232 damage!
Karst casts Heat kiss!
It has no effect on Alex!
Saturos:Give up!You can't beat us.
Alex:I won't give up until you die.
Alex casts Freeze prism!
Saturos takes 365 damage!
Menardi takes 453 damage!
Agatio takes 465 damage!
Karst takes 398 damage!
Agatio casts meteor blow!
Alex takes 1257 damage!
Alex:You wont beat me!
Alex casts long and powefull Venus spell!
Saturos takes 2576 damage!
Menardi takes 2465 damage!
Agatio takes 2583 damage!
Karst takes 2483 damage!
Alex venus power is fading away.
Alex:What is happening?It doesn't matter!
Alex casts powerfull Jupiter spell.
Saturos takes 2745 damage!
Menardi takes 2547 damage!
Agatio takes 2864 damage!
Karst takes 2685 damage!
Alex Jupiter power is fading away.
After powerfull strikes Alex have lost all power inherited by using Golden sun.
Saturos Party Is wounded they can't act for some time.
Saturos:Alex! Damn you!
Alex:Don't worry Saturos I too can't move.
Peninsula have drifted until the edge of world.
In Alex face was smile and suddenly they felled into the unknown...
Kraden and Rief have warped to Imil.
Rief:Home.Sweet home.
Kraden and Rief went to Mias House and suddenly a blue flash of light was seen.
Kraden:Look Rief!Alex have done it.Lighthouse is shining once again.
Kraden and Rief entered Mia's House.
Rief:Mum we are home.
Mia:Rief! It is good to see you back.
Amiti:What brings you here?
Kraden: Oh it is you Amiti.
Kraden went to Him and give big hug.Kraden took of tears from eyes and said.
Kraden:Amiti I am sorry to tell you this but...Amiti your father he's...He's gone.
Mia:What?
Amiti:No this can't be!
Kraden: He asked to deliver you this.
Kraden gave to Amiti letter.
Kraden:And he asked to tell you..that he is proud to have son like you.
Amiti opened letter and reads it.
Dear Amiti.I am sorry that I wasn't with you all this time.I had to do a lot of work to make this world safe for anybody.I hope you will find forgiveness for me.By now I am going to another world.
Live your life happy for me.
Kraden has a pedant for you.It is memento from me.Ask him to look in his bag and o gave it to you.
Remember I will always be with you.
Alex.
Amiti looked to Kraden and asked to open his bag.Kraden opened bag and gave pedant to Amiti.
Amiti wore it on and suddenly heard voice in his mind.
Alex:I will Alvays be with you...
[spoiler]The end.
Author::Saturos:[/spoiler]
Finally I've read it all. I guess it is very good. You also show the better side of Alex and that he isn't purest evil.
I only have one thing: The story jumped really fast with all those Teleports.
Quote from: Luna_blade on 19, April, 2014, 01:33:15 AM
I only have one thing: The story jumped really fast with all those Teleports.
I don't see anything bad in it.