---Title changed to Reasons to make this topic more generic.
Excuses:
Q: What are the rules to excuses? When should you use them, and when should you not?
Excuses generally come in two categories.
-Either the thing is too big for you. (Fear/Anxiety, Time Consuming, Confusing, Stressful, being in two places at one time, etc.)
-Or the thing is too small for you. (Ex: Boring/not interested, Arrogance, etc.)
Do you believe that having excuses is a sign of weakness? (I think maybe so, since if you had no weakness, you'd be all-powerful and could do everything.)
So sometimes I wonder if it's better not to give an excuse even if you have one. ( Plus, it's not like people like hearing them. :P ... At least not in the aggressive type of way. )
Now for some quotes!
"Excuses are tools of the incompetent, and those who specialize in them seldom go far."
Ben Franklin wrote, "He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else."
Gabriel Meurier stated, "He who excuses himself, accuses himself."
Feel free to post your favorite excuse in this topic! (And perhaps include a story behind it, if you are willing.)
Eh, this doesn't really seem like something I'm interested in.
I don't have excuses, I have reasons. :P
@Rolina: That's fine. This seems like one of them topics that I doubt will last longer than a couple days, anyhow.
@Misery:
Why not this one?
Definition #9 on dictionary.com:
a ground or reason for excusing or being excused:
To me: a reason for not doing something. (Or doing something.)
Either way, I suppose "reasons" by itself could work for this topic? (We don't have to keep this topic too specific, do we?) And depending on the Reasons you may have, I might even change the topic title to "Reasons"? Hm...
Just saying that something that is a reason to one might sound like an excuse to another... depending on your perspective.
So like... It might be a reason to you, but it could be an excuse or reason to me.
Is it that one word makes you feel more guilty than the other, even though it could be the exact same thing?
https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100228195311AAk7mpz
^ Seems to say that the difference is whether you are trying to remove liability for it. Which means "Reason" sound more generic.
Still though, if that's the case, I wonder how much of a difference it really makes... Hm... Is there a word that means "reason" but explicitly also means not to remove liability? ; I wonder if there's a diagram of words somewhere.
Quote from: Fox on 01, December, 2014, 06:12:53 AM
@Rolina: That's fine. This seems like one of them topics that I doubt will last longer than a couple days, anyhow.
Awww, you didn't get the joke...
It's like a pun?
-That's your favorite excuse.
-But you're also not interested in this topic?
Or maybe you didn't mean the latter.
The joke is that she gave you an excuse for not wanting to read a discussion about excuses, lmao.
Majora got it. ^-^
I think ultimately if you're going to blame something on an external force it may be irritating to others around you, but it's more of a problem for you. Sure, there are some forces in your life that you can never control, but if you constantly blame other things for your problems, you're always at the whim of those things. I just find it very strange that people would rather sacrifice their independence and freedom for trying to rat themselves out of responsibility, but it seems like it's something that's very common on certain communities that I'm a member of. Making excuses should really be a last resort because otherwise you're sacrificing some of your freedom to cushion yourself from blame.
I don't think I ever said this publicly but I have autism and the autism community is NOTORIOUS for using their autism to basically get away with everything. I got diagnosed as an adult so I learned how to actually bite the bullet but it's @#$%&*! depressing seeing otherwise completely capable individuals pocket their freedom for their so called inability to deal with things. I don't want to sound rude, but in most cases you absolutely CAN, it just takes longer and requires more effort sometimes. I try to teach them and show them that they can do better but they've already been indoctrinated into believing that their autism is the end-all-be-all and that they can use it for anything.
Hell there are ways even the blind can be almost completely autonomous (bar transportation of course) and then you get blind folk who have to hire maids because they keep saying they can't do things because of their blindness. In the blind community it's often called "using the blind card" because most sighties don't know any better. (NOTE: I would highly discourage anyone from actually saying that to a blind person unless you really know what you're talking about)
If anything I'm not even bothered by it anymore, I mean essentially they're letting something external take control of their lives instead of working with what they have.
Doing other: "I have more important things to do." / "I'm too busy right now."
Interest: "I'm not interested." / "I don't like it." / "I don't enjoy it." / "It's boring." / "I don't feel like it." / "I'm tired of it."
Anxiety: "It scares me." / "I'm too afraid to do it."
Point: "I don't see the point in doing it."
Time: "It takes too much time."
Memory: "I don't know what to do." / "I forgot." :)
^ A bunch of random reasons... Are any of them good?
Quote from: Fox on 03, December, 2014, 11:29:39 AM
Doing other: "I have more important things to do." / "I'm too busy right now."
Interest: "I'm not interested." / "I don't like it." / "I don't enjoy it." / "It's boring." / "I don't feel like it." / "I'm tired of it."
Anxiety: "It scares me." / "I'm too afraid to do it."
Point: "I don't see the point in doing it."
Time: "It takes too much time."
Memory: "I don't know what to do." / "I forgot." :)
^ A bunch of random reasons... Are any of them good?
1. Depends on what you're doing. Can be a cheap way to get out of something but prioritizing things is a decent excuse.
2. If it's not important this is usually adequate. Be careful about not offending someone though.
3. This can be a genuine excuse but it's almost always better to just do it if this is the only excuse.
4. If this is a given excuse, it's important to give a better reason. This excuse is valid if the other party isn't very convincing.
5. This is probably not the best excuse. It shows lack of willingness for time management, if you're unable to show that your schedule is too booked to complete the task at hand.
6. This is a pretty poor excuse and shows that you weren't really interested in the issue in the first place, unless you're extremely busy.
3. If it's eating certain nutritious bugs, I can see not doing it... Hm... But in most cases where you have an advantage from doing the thing, then I can see your point.
5. But what if say, you only were given 1 day to do the assignment, and in actuality, it takes weeks? (Because maybe you have a manager or customer that doesn't understand how time flows on a certain project...) Even worse if you cannot extend the due date because it relates to something strictly important like a special occasion/day. (Ex: Birthday.)
6. But sometimes when you're interested in something, you really do forget.... I imagine the point you're most likely to forget something you're told is when you first wake up? ; I could also talk about people who get drunk and blackout, and those with diseases like Alzheimer. To me, this one should go with #5, and you'll need to grab a schedule and do some time management. (Even if you're not really that busy.) It's recommended in general.
Who here plans their schedule, anyway?
There's one other excuse/reason I forgot to list: "It costs too much." I can see a lot of parents using that one on their kids. (Which sort of also goes under Time, since money takes time to make.)
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And the list of things one would need to provide excuses for...
Time-based: "Come to the party tonight."
Assignment-based: "How's that essay coming along?"
Quote from: Fox on 04, December, 2014, 07:50:45 AM
3. If it's eating certain nutritious bugs, I can see not doing it... Hm... But in most cases where you have an advantage from doing the thing, then I can see your point.
5. But what if say, you only were given 1 day to do the assignment, and in actuality, it takes weeks? (Because maybe you have a manager or customer that doesn't understand how time flows on a certain project...) Even worse if you cannot extend the due date because it relates to something strictly important like a special occasion/day. (Ex: Birthday.)
6. But sometimes when you're interested in something, you really do forget.... I imagine the point you're most likely to forget something you're told is when you first wake up? ; I could also talk about people who get drunk and blackout, and those with diseases like Alzheimer. To me, this one should go with #5, and you'll need to grab a schedule and do some time management. (Even if you're not really that busy.) It's recommended in general.
Who here plans their schedule, anyway?
There's one other excuse/reason I forgot to list: "It costs too much." I can see a lot of parents using that one on their kids. (Which sort of also goes under Time, since money takes time to make.)
3. Well like I said if there is an actual serious issue that's fine. Like people of course would be nervous of eating bugs because it makes them feel squeamish. Going on a roller coaster could do the same.
5. In this case you either took on an assignment that you clearly had no idea how long it would take, which means you really shouldn't have taken that short of a deadline in the first place (if it really takes a couple of weeks, seriously...) or you completely underestimated how long it would take you to complete that. Both ways it still is ultimately your fault and you let that person down. Oftentimes with freelance artists they have to decline requests like this because they know they can't do it.
6. Alzheimer's is pretty much an a-okay for an excuse like this for obvious reasons.
Also, I do a lot with planning my schedule, but I'm also a Grade A sperg. If you're in business though, you do have to maintain some sort of schedule to keep up with stuff and ensure you don't forget anything. Organizational skills are key if you're a white collar worker.
7. "It costs too much" is almost always a valid excuse unless whatever is required is necessary for your well being and you can pay for it. For example, putting off dental appointments because it "costs too much" is probably not a good excuse, especially if you can afford it. But putting off buying a dress for someone is fine.
#5: What if it was easy on your part, but you had to get someone else to do their part. ... Much like when you are a child and have to get parent signatures on papers... but you parents are unfortunately unavailable. (For any reason concerning any old random thing.. from going into the hospital, to a kidnapping, or what other.) ; This could even be one example on how even a one day thing can take week(s)? Although, this is usually unlikely, if you ask me. (However, if a robbery could also extend the length of time a project could take, then I guess I could use that for a better example. ... or even the ol' "My dog ate my homework." excuse.)
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Now, maybe we should organize our posts and excuses stuff into a diagram of long explanations? Hm... I probably won't , though.
Considering that this isn't in the debates area, can we not turn this into a debate and, you know, try to embrace the spirit of the thread? Your favorite excuses? I kinda feel like forcing a change in the first post, as well as the tone of the thread's kind of... eeeeeh...
I'm not really comfortable when it comes to turning this into a discussion about mental disorders and your views on them. Perhaps that should warrant its own thread?
I agree with fixing the first post... But I guess I never figured out what I wanted to say. (And/or didn't find it important enough to figure out.)
It actually wasn't about your favorite excuse at first, but I thought that would be better for this topic. (Maybe not, though.)
It was more supposed to be a question on where you would likely "cross the line" from using excuses. (Bad topic idea, since it's not likely something even we know. But knowing people's perception could have been interesting. I would have preferred to think of it as a survey. But surveys end up being debates, so...)
I see. It didn't really convey it at first, though - I came in here thinking it was just something fun to do. If it was supposed to be something like that, perhaps the Debates forum would have been better?
Perhaps at the time, maybe... But then if the replies ended up being not-so-debatable, then we'd probably want to move it back. (And/or, if the topic changes meaning some time later. For example, changing it to Favorite Excuses may both be "fun" and perhaps shed some light on how far people actually go with excuses, which was the primary topic at first. And it's probably more productive, anyway.)
Eh, that's why I think there should be two then. A more lighthearted one here, and the one meant for debates in the debates topic.
Okay. You're free to create that topic if you want. :)
Not even sure what words I could say that could make it an active topic, since again, I figure people don't really know where to draw the line? (I'm guessing.) But maybe you have something better in mind?
I'm just saying that it didn't take long for this to turn into bashing the mentally handicapped, and I'm not comfortable with the whole thing. Feels bully-ish. Yeah, a lot of people don't understand the disorder, especially those whom have it - but that doesn't really give the right to start bashing them. Heck, many let people know about their Autism not as an excuse, but to let you know that they don't recognize when they did something wrong, and that they need you to call them out on it instead of just keeping quiet about it. Austim is a disorder that hampers communication skills pretty hard, and I've had to deal with it for most of my life. It's never an excuse - as I've seen it, we're trying. We really are. But instead of trying to work with us to help us recognize these things, people just write us off.
The thing is, if this is going to turn into an argument about autism, it's better off in the debates section. And if they come back and start trying to counter, then I'd rather have had this thread been what it originally was, something that merited being in Open Discussion. I've already learned my lesson about the debates thread and avoid it now.
Wait now... People are bashing people here?
*Looks back*
Hmm... Is it the post with the -1 rating?
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I don't think I was thinking about the mentally-handicapped when I decided to make this topic... Either way, it's not supposed to be here to judge anyone at all... Better to judge/question the behavior than the person, anyway... and we ALL have faults.. ( It's not limited to mentally-handicapped, even though they are more vulnerable in the social aspect. ) I also think that we each have good sides/abilities, as well.... and that we all should remember not to under-estimate them in others and in ourselves. (It may be easy to forget, sometimes.)
(Ofcourse, making excuses could also fit in with habits, and habits are hard to break.... It's possible that judging people when they are trying in that way is likely worse than making an excuse. What do you think?)
Next, I could bring up discussion on the four temperaments.... or maybe not.
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If this topic does seem to have too much negativity... then I guess we should stick to the one-off favorite excuse line?
No, I know for certain you weren't. But that's kind of what it turned into. You can't be held accountable for what others did in your topic, after all.