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Storytime with Kain

Started by Kain, 20, January, 2011, 04:57:58 AM

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Zach

Be happy that he wasn't smart, otherwise he would've thrown the flash grenade and kill you from behind OR if he had a sentax (spelt wrong), he could throw it at your shield (it sticks) and kill you :P

Rolina

It's an FPS.  You expect people to actually fight intelligently?

Kain

Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2
Super Kain Kamikaze Attack!
Team Deathmatch

Well it's later on in my career of this game and I'm simply hunting for awards to level up and I decided to try and kill someone and myself with a grenade.  Well it's not as easy as one may think.  Most of the time, you run into people and they either kill you or you kill them and that leaves no chance for you to cook a grenade and kill them.

Well one day I was running around looking for someone to try and sneak up on when what to my amazement, there's someone standing near the doorway to a shack.  Right as he turns and looks at me, I had pulled the pin of the grenade and began to run towards him.  Instead of shooting me, he panicked, backed up and tried to run away, only to hit the dead end in the shack.  He turned just in time to seem me run up to him laughing like a maniac before the grenade exploded in my hand and killed the two of us.

The hate mail afterwords was so worth the laughs though.  Just goes to show, if you don't do the smart thing and take care of the problem, it'll just come back to bite you in the butt.

You misspelled retard...oh the irony!

RTGreece21

lol. i totally wish i could see the mail, that musta been way too much fun XD
"Optimistic about Pessimism."
"Want to see my good side? Hah heh heh... That was a trick question. All I have are good sides."[/color]

Zach

Quote from: Role on 29, January, 2011, 05:54:31 PM
It's an FPS.  You expect people to actually fight intelligently?
Some people do and when they do....... O_O

Rolina

When they do, they're usually your friends gathered together for a gaming session.  If it's just some random person, odds are it's some punk @#$ kid with a rated X mouth and his joyful jock buddies.

Kain

#26
Dead Rising 2
I've got your back.
Multiplayer.  I'm at the max level.  My friend is level 2

So we were messing around in DR2.  My friend is pretty new to it and had asked me for some help with the game, to which I agreed and we were now on a level up run for him.  Every time you rescue a survivor you get anywhere from 5,000 to 10,000 PP...or experience points in this game, and with my help we were going at a fast rate.

Suddenly, the two of us jump on the little pink bicycles and start having a race.  As we were racing, we found the mail cart and he stopped to investigate, not knowing that it triggered a boss fight.  Once the postal mail man began attacking us, he asked me to stay back and see if he could handle him.  I laughed, oh how I laughed.  But I told him go ahead, I'll be on standby.

So as he was doing that, I pulled out a Pain killer drink (made by mixing beer and beer in a blender.  It heals a lot of HP and decreases the damage you take.) and waited.  After many run up and hit him attempts and running away while trying to shoot attempts only to get bombed, shotgunned, kicked and smacked with the shotgun until he was dead (to which I revived him with the painkiller.) he finally gave in and told me to deal with him.

Now he did well.  He took the boss 1/8th of the way down.  I equipped my knife gloves (made by combining a bowie knife and boxing gloves.) and ran up to the guy.  My friend was mumbling, (That isn't going to work, he just shot me.) right as the guy aimed at me, I ran to the side, knowing full well he doesn't turn fast and when he fired, I rolled out of the way, much to my friends amazement.

The mail man was shortly stunned after firing three shots in the same direction, so I ran up and started slicing him.  I got in three slices with the gloves and the mans health was below half now, much to my friends shock.  The mailman ran away and was dropping bombs as he ran.  I stopped and rolled backwards to avoid them.

Once he stopped in one spot, I got behind the pillar and waited for him to move again.  He did so and when he stopped, he started doing the aiming thing again.  I ran around him and when I was at his back side, he fired his three shots and I finished him off.  My friend got 12,000 PP and leveled up.  "Okay...from now on, you're on boss duty!" he told me.

I laughed and said, "Alright.  Let's go fight another one." and we took off to go do the "Everybody Knows Slappy" quest.  Now, for those of you who have played the game, you may have thought Slappy was pretty freaky (I still do.) and he was hard to fight.  Now something you may not have known is, his voice actor?  The same voice actor for Light Yagami from Death Note.

Once we got to the area, my friend asked me.  "Just how good are you at this game?" to which I replied, "Way too good."  He laughed for a bit and said, "Fine.  Kill the next boss without any weapons." I turned and looked at him.  "Alright." and he got silent.  Now I've only told Role this but I have been finding ways to kill all the bosses without the use of weapons and without getting hit.

So when the Slappy fight started, I jumped up and kicked him when he came rolling towards me.  He fell on his butt and I ran up and power punched him twice and rolled away.  He got up and started spinning in circles with his flamethrowers active.  I waited until he started to die down and I ran up and kicked him again, knocking him down again.  I kept this process up for about three minutes, each power punch taking off a small, but noticeable portion of his health until I finally killed him.  Barehanded and without taking damage.

My friend then declared that it was now my job to fight every boss.  I wouldn't have it any other way.  It just goes to show, if you've got the skills, don't be afraid to implement them.  Some may hate you, some may love you.  But that's the risk you take.

You misspelled retard...oh the irony!

Kain

#27
Modern Warfare 2
One Bad Man
Multiplayer.  I'm using Commando (Extended melee distance and no falling damage.), Lightweight (Move faster, ability to aim after climbing up something is faster.) and Marathon (Infinite sprinting and faster aiming.)  I even took the time to get 75 kills with a pistol to unlock the Tactical Knife, which speeds up my knife attacks.

So our team is losing pretty badly to some group of players who actually know the meaning of teamwork.  They never split up and they must be communicating by mic, I'm not sure, I just jumped in.  So far I've been unable to even take one of these guys down and they're the only ones on the other team.  I finally saw a chance when I had managed to sneak around and they were running towards something.

I quickly chased after them and one by one before they all even realized it, I went person to person and knifed them all in the back.  One after another, I killed all five of the enemy team, getting me the medal for doing so, getting the medal for killing their lead player and suddenly, we won the match due to them quitting.

Then, came the hate mail.  I kept this bit of hate mail and it was close to being deleted, but I have it and I'm posting it all here.  I'm editting out their names and curses.

P1:  You backstabbing fa**** why don't you try fighting us up front and fair?! F***ing fa*.
RE:  It's a war game, there is no "fairness" in combat.  I could easily complain about five of you taking up an entire enemy team but that'd get us nowhere.
RE:RE: Fu** you you piece of sh**.
RE:RE:RE:  No thanks.  I'd have to kill myself if I ever got intimate with you.

P2: WTF Cheap.
RE: True, it was a cheap shot, but you can't tell me you wouldn't do the same.
RE:RE: you got me there.

P3:  (First guy I knifed apparently.) cheap a** camper try fighting instead of hiding next time
RE:  Not my fault you guys were too busy to notice me and, oh, I don't know...stop.  Turn around and shoot me.
RE:RE:  im gonna kill your fa**** a**
RE:RE:RE: You mean like you did after I stabbed your entire group?  (no reply after this.)

P4: lol gay.
RE:  lol lrn2watchurback

P5: you suck man.  i cant believe the number of people who do that run and knife bullsh**.
RE: It works, much like how you were noob tubing across the map.
RE:RE: yeah but at least the grenade launcher isnt cowardly.
RE:RE:RE: Oh yeah, firing grenades across the map from distances nobody but snipers can counter is REALLY brave.
RE:RE:RE:RE: better than back stabbing
RE:RE:RE:RE:RE: and tell me who rage quit after getting stabbed?
REx6: ur just a fu***** fa****
REx7: Aw, boo hoo.  Cry some moar, your tears are delicious.  You know if you spent half the time you do complaining watching your back, you wouldn't have this kind of trouble.
REx8: stfu bit** ur just a cheating a**h***
REx9: Says the noob tuber.  Learn to use an actual gun.
REx10: shut up it's a legit tactic
REx11: So is camping, but nobody likes it.  My attack was also legit.  It's a freaking war game.  There are no rules.  My objective is to kill you by any means necessary.
REx12: if i ever see you again im going to kill you
REx13: Not likely but whatever.  If you DO see me again, it'll most likely be me knifing you from the front.
REx14: u fu**** knifer
REx15: If I got close enough to knife you in the first place, you deserve it.
REx16: just stfu

Well it turns out, I found P5 in another match later and guess what...I knifed him again!

REx17:  Hey, miss me? =D
REx18: i fu**** hate you
REx19: Trust me, the feeling is mutual.  Bye~!

You misspelled retard...oh the irony!

ChrisButton


leaf

YESSSSS

logs were gold, especially the last one
[spoiler=quotes]
[9:00:50 PM] Randel Peltier: Ok...what did I do last night?
[9:01:19 PM] Kain: Something boring, repetitive, and lasted for about sixty seconds.
---
[10:45:08 AM] Salanewt: But yeah, the elemental phalluses are being... Stroked up by Saturos and co., and the energy will go towards... Mt. Muffin, where the Golden Climax will arise.
[7:28:42 PM] Salanewt: An added bonus is that Isaac and co. were trying to stop Saturos and co. because their beliefs state that Mt. Muffin should remain a virgin.
---
[9:54:21 PM] Randel Peltier: Guess the number in my head an you get to pick what I say. Number between 1-10
[9:54:28 PM] leaf: 11
[9:54:36 PM] Randel Peltier: @#$%!
---
[8:38:13 PM] Randel Peltier: Shes like this queen up on a pedastal that I have yet to court.
[8:38:29 PM] Kain: You've tried courting her.
[8:38:43 PM] leaf: and failed spectacularly
[8:38:44 PM] Randel Peltier: Ive tried...shes the best dating game ever.
---
[12:24:35 AM] Salanewt: I need to find a picture of a naked person to put on the Christmas tree next year.
---
[2:19:06 PM] Zeadra: wait... Rief's a guy???
---
[1:09:57 PM] Zeadra: well if you want to know if its a new effect or something weird, just check GS1, if side step is there maby it is the nimble dodge thing
[1:10:35 PM] Kioll: For once, you've contributed something useful.  o.O[/spoiler]

Tetsuya the Azure Blade

What a bunch of sore losers. They should've remembered that it's only a game.

Kain

Left 4 Dead 2
Jumping Jack Smash
Versus

Yes, the title is the name of an achievement.  Moving on.  So I joined a random lobby on L4D2 and my group started with the Infected first.  Now as we're playing, we're getting our butts handed to us.  We have barely even damaged the survivors at all and they're too close knit to try and break apart.  We had absolutely no plans, my team was half mics, half no mics and the two of us that had mics...the other guy wouldn't help me think up a plan.

I got the Hunter and I went and spawned in one of the hotel rooms.  My plan was to try and pounce one of them when they came around the corner and hopefully if any were close, they'd suffer knock back and let me damage them a bit.  Well as I was waiting, my team was getting pissed that I wasn't doing anything.  One of the no mics suddenly got a mic and started yelling at me to do something.  "Yeah, yeah.  I've got a plan...hold your horses." I replied back.

When the survivors finally got around to getting near the room I was in, I waited for them to be right around the corner and I crouched.  The Hunter makes no noise when he's standing up, thus you can't tell he's around.  But once he crouches, he starts growling.  Once I got ready to pounce, they came around the corner and I leaped.  I jumped too far but the results were unbelievable.  I hit the player using Coach, and the knockback from my pounce hit the other three characters and they stumbled backwards and fell off of the ledge, making them incapacitated while I killed off Coach, thus winning the round for us because none of the survivors could save each other.

No one believes me when I say even though I can win the match for us if we get a Tank, give me a Hunter and I'll start doing damage.  Just goes to show, you don't need the best to outshine the rest.  A little bit of planning and your worst could be the best thing that ever happened to you.

You misspelled retard...oh the irony!

Zach

I LOVED that last Modern Warfare log. Best one yet :D

Kain

Alright folks.  Time for another tale.

Left 4 Dead
Brothers in arms
Multiplayer

This is a story on how I made one of my friends.  I had found a random lobby hosting the game and right as I entered the room the match started up, it appeared I was on infected.  Figuring it was no big deal, we started playing.  Now all of us had mics but we weren't really working together, yet both teams were able to keep the other from winning, thus making every stage a tie.  Finally, we were on a stage in Death Toll I believe and we were getting hit BAD.

About the middle of the stage the enemy team got a Tank and he managed to kill two of us.  The two of us that survived and managed to kill him?  We were in the red zone, heavily injured.  "If we're going to make it...we're going to have to work together." I told him.  "Yeah." he replied back and with that, we continued on our way.

Immediately he's grabbed by a Smoker and here comes a Hunter to get me, I quickly kill the Smoker to free him and then call out the Hunter, who right as it pounced me, he killed it.  We started moving again as fast as we could, considering our state of health, we were moving slowly.  Here came a horde.  "Get in the corner." I told him and he did.  I crouched down and pulled out my pistols since they had longer range than my shotgun and the two of us held off that horde.

Once the horde was done, we went outside onto the street and he got pounced.  I was getting ready to turn when I saw a Smoker and he shot his tongue at me.  I quickly fired like a madman with my shotgun and it killed the smoker.  I turned and killed the Hunter that had by now incapacitated him and right as I picked him up, I got hit by a hunter, but my health was really low, so just it landing on me incapacitated me.

Once he got the thing off of me and got me back up...my vision went black and white.  "I'm almost dead..." I muttered.  "Me too." he said.  "Alright...let's do this." I told him and we were off again.  A Boomer, two more Hunters and a Smoker all attacked at once.  This is where I got my Dead Stop achievement...it's where you punch a Hunter as he's pouncing you and stop him.

I shot the hunter, then I shot the smoker.  My ally got covered in boomer bile and right as I killed the thing, thinking it couldn't get any worse..."BWEEPBWEEPBWEEPBWEEPBWEEPBWEEP!!!" the loud wailing of a car alarm went off.  "Aw crap...run!" I told him.  (He killed the other Hunter, btw.)

Right as we made it to the door, we ran backwards while firing everything we had to stop the horde.  I turned and opened the safe room door.  "Get inside!" I told him and he quickly did while I covered him going in.  Once he was far enough inside, I started to amble in but I got grabbed by another Smoker!

Thinking I was about to die, I put my controller down and was about to tell him to shut the door when suddenly machine gun fire went off and the sounds of the Smokers death filled the air, along with my character coughing.  Realizing he had come back out to save me, I quickly picked my controller back up and made my way to the safe room.

We were the only ones of our team who made it to the safe room and because of our actions, we managed to secure enough points ahead of the other team to win, despite the ties in the later stages.  Just goes to show you, in times of desperation, even complete strangers can work together like they've known each other all their lives.

You misspelled retard...oh the irony!

Kain

#34
Yo!  Kain here with a small announcement.  As some of you may have noticed, I've done a pretty decent job at posting a new story every single day.  However, at the rate I'm going...I'm going to burn out, my story quality is going to drop, the readers sometimes have trouble keeping up with me and throw in the fact that if my work isn't top quality, I'm not screwing myself over, I'm screwing you, the viewer over because you have to suffer through my terribly written work.

So I've decided to change Storytime with Kain to twice a week.  Tuesdays and Thursdays are when I will post a new story.  This gives me time to rest up and remember a few of my other tales, and it gives you guys who stopped reading, a chance to look back at a story you may have missed.

So, today is the last story from me until next Tuesday.  I hope you enjoy it.

Mario Kart Double Dash
NEVER AGAIN!  EVEN IF ORDERED!
Settings:  Kain as Yoshi, Randy as Wario.  We're playing the cup where you have to race all 45??? cups in a row, on Mirror Mode.

So there we were.  We were on the VERY last race in the cup, barely with a 3 point lead.  We had to get first place on this match or we would lose the cup and have to start all over.  The computers were certainly making things difficult for us.  Now, Randy loved Mario Kart, but he wasn't good at driving so I did all the driving and I had him on item, attack and defense duty.

We were in first!  We were cruising along with a huge lead!  There was no possible way we could lose!  Suddenly out of nowhere, a blue she-wait...a BLUE SHELL!?!?!  OH CRAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!  We got hit!  Oh good, we're fine...they're still back there and there's just five feet to the fini-RED SHELL!?

Oh god...come on...we can still make i-GREEN SHELL!  What are the odds?!?!  Just as we recovered from that, THUNDER BOLT!  Then Toad ran us over!  We reshaped, then Bowser came charging by and spun us out!  Then suddenly a Chainchomp fly by and hit us!  Then a guy with a starman!  Then to add insult to injury, someone left a banana peel in front of us...we took last place and lost...we took sixth place because of this loss.

Randy was so pissed.  It had taken HOURS of convincing him to play this game again.  We had gotten this far and he was upset and slightly burned because of 150CC of this race.  But now we would have to do it all over?!  Needless to say, even I agreed with him and we took a month off.  The bitter taste of defeat never leaving for that entire month.

It just goes to show, life will give you lemons, but sometimes you lack the tools to make the lemonade.  So eat up and take your puckered eyes and lips with some dignity!

You misspelled retard...oh the irony!

Zach

Wow, the game really hated you, but, even still, awesome story :D

Aile~♥

I played Modern Warfare 2 once, let me tell you, the riot shield is amazing. It's the one weapon I can actually do something with. I like the one time where the guy I was playing against tried to shoot me from behind just as I pulled out my pistols so I could move faster, making the riot shield block the bullets. And I survived several copter and jet bombardments with my riot shield. Then there was the time I lay down in the grass with my pistols out, and he walked up without spotting me, so pumped about 20 pistol shots into his stomach and killed him.
[sprite=16, 6, 0]:P[/sprite]

Lloyd: Easy as pie.
Genis: Sweet!
Presea: ...Sweetie pie...
Zelos: Let's not start on this again...

[spoiler=epic mindscrew][/spoiler]

Kain

#37
As you may have noticed, SWK took a plummit and hasn't been updated in a few days.  Well I'm going to give you two stories today to make up for Tuesdays and Thursdays lack of a story.

Call of Duty Black Ops
You got me dancing.
Team Deathmatch

So the match suddenly started and I was running around.  My build was the Scorpion, an SMG with high power but bad accuracy, a few flash grenades and the throwing hatchet, along with a pistol as my alternate.  As I was going around the stage looking for someone to kill, I went underground and suddenly me and another player saw each other from about ten feet away.

I froze, I was in the middle area with no places to possibly hide and with my SMG there was no way I could win in a gun fight against his assault rifle.  Suddenly, he began to fire and out of instinct, I started moving counterclockwise around in a circle, much to both of our amazement, I dodged every single bullet he fired at me.  Before his shock wore off, I quickly ran right up to him and knifed him.  I believe this was the first time I've ever gotten called on for hacking.  Just goes to show, sometimes it's not hacks.  Sometimes they're just better.



Fallout New Vegas
Ffffffffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-
Character:  Yoen  Gender:  Female  Class:  Close range unarmed fighter  Weapon of Choice (at the time.) Bladed gauntlet

I had just started playing this game and I was out exploring this brand new world known as the Mojave wasteland.  It was quite different from the Capital Wasteland from Fallout 3 but so far I was enjoying every minute of it.  Soon, I came across this town called Primm.  As I was heading in, I noticed a couple of ammo crates inside of this tent looking thing and walked up to it.

The cursor turned red and the words at the bottom of the screen said Open Ammo Box, meaning if I took whatever was inside, it would be considered stealing.  I did a quick look and didn't see anyone before I suddenly helped myself to the ammo inside.  No sooner had I closed the box when suddenly a voice yelled out, "Hey!  Put that back!" and immediately I started looking around before suddenly the pain icon appeared to my right and the sound of a revolver being fired filled the air along with my characters cry of pain.

I quickly turned and in an instant, I was on him and with a well aimed punch with the bladed gauntlet, had not only killed the man, but cleaved off his right arm and his head from his shoulders.  Once that was done, I suddenly got a warning that said I had gained Infamy with the NCR.  Now I was still new to this so I didn't really care at the time nor did I know who the NCR was.

His attacking me and my current fame led to all the other NCR characters in the area to open fire on me the moment they saw me, so I wound up killing everybody I came across.  Once that was settled, I did some other things like finding a new sheriff for the town, helping out by killing some escaped convicts and rescuing some captured people.

This went on for a bit and I saved and warped somewhere.  As I was walking, I saw two figures suddenly come running towards me.  The scary part was how FAST they were moving.  I didn't even think anything could run that fast.  Suddenly, this women with aviators and a giant ranger hat on stopped in front and spoke to me.  "Seeing as how you haven't pi**ed your pants yet, I figure you don't know who we are.  We are rangers from the NCR.  We've gotten word that you've been causing trouble.  We're here to give you a warning.  You have three days to clean up your act, or we're coming for you."

Scoffing, I pulled out my gauntlet and tore into her, only to do minimal damage and for her to turn around, pull her pistol out and shoot met once and I was dead.  Quite shocked, I reloaded and tried this again.  The third time I tried luring her around with grenades and mines and the last time I actually tried to fight with guns.  Nothing I did was saving me and she or her partner would kill me quickly.  Needless to say, I had a mission and that was to get my reputation with the NCR fixed in three days.

After much questing and doing jobs/chores for the NCR I was on my way to a new location recommended to me and suddenly, four Legion assassins suddenly appeared and pulled out their machetes.  I knew I was in for one hell of a fight when suddenly...four gunshots roared out and the assassins fell over dead.  Not sure what was going on, I turned around and it was the two NCR rangers from yesterday!

"We're just here to remind you, you've got two days left to fix your rep with the NCR."  and with that, the two were on their way...and I was left speechless, shocked and most of all angry.  The message was clear.  'We can kill you anytime we want.  We're just being nice and giving you a chance.'  Needless to say, my resolve was only strengthened.  It just goes to show, you don't want to mess with the wrong people because they may just be more than you can handle.

You misspelled retard...oh the irony!

Aile~♥

Someone respond to this so Kain can post more funniness!
[sprite=16, 6, 0]:P[/sprite]

Lloyd: Easy as pie.
Genis: Sweet!
Presea: ...Sweetie pie...
Zelos: Let's not start on this again...

[spoiler=epic mindscrew][/spoiler]

RTGreece21

yesh, we certainly needs more, but is bumping really the solution? wont that annoy someone? o.o
"Optimistic about Pessimism."
"Want to see my good side? Hah heh heh... That was a trick question. All I have are good sides."[/color]