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Storytime with Kain

Started by Kain, 20, January, 2011, 04:57:58 AM

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Aile~♥

Someone like myself? On second thought, yeah, probably. But that last one was still funny.
[sprite=16, 6, 0]:P[/sprite]

Lloyd: Easy as pie.
Genis: Sweet!
Presea: ...Sweetie pie...
Zelos: Let's not start on this again...

[spoiler=epic mindscrew][/spoiler]

Kain

#41
Demons Souls
Why would you do that?!
Kain: Temple Knight  Dragon Longsword, Purple Flame Shield, Lava Bow, Crushing Battle Axe + 4, Old Kings Armor

Role and I were playing Demons Souls and we were trying to get through the mines in stage 2-2 to fight the Flamelurker.  Well we were making good time, I was alive and the host, she was the blue phantom.  We had made it to a halfway point where you first meet Patches and we had our first encounter with Bearpillbugs.  Giant pill bugs that either jumped on you at medium size, or at any size, had a massive stinger they used on you from their mouth.

The one thing these monsters all had in common, save for their smaller forms, were they all blew up upon death.  Now as we were exploring and killing off these things, we had encountered a flying type.  Role had the best dexterity, the stronger bow and was the long range fighter anyways.

Role had told me, "Stay back, I'll take care of these." but, they were getting very close to the ledge at a point where I could hit them.  So I was edging my way closer and closer, attacking any of the bugs that got close.  Until...I got next to the ledge.  "Kain....get back..."  "I got this one!" I replied back, dragon longsword in hand.  "Take this!  Lunging AttaaaaAAAA
                                                      A
                                                       A
                                                        A
                                                         A
                                                          A
                                                           A
                                                            A
                                                             A
                                                              A
                                                               A
                                                                A
                                                                 A
                                                                  A
                                                                   Agggghhh!"

-Kain died like a bi***.  Session over-

But as Role was fading back to her own world...over the voice chat did her voice ring.  "WHAT PART OF STAY BACK AND LET ME HANDLE IT DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?!  YES, BECAUSE RUNNING UP TO A CLIFF WITH A SWORD TO HIT THE THING FLYING OUT OF REACH IS A BRILLIANT IDEA!"

Lesson learned.  Next time, stay behind the fence.

You misspelled retard...oh the irony!

leaf

AHAHAHA

EXCELLENT KAIN

EXCELLENT
[spoiler=quotes]
[9:00:50 PM] Randel Peltier: Ok...what did I do last night?
[9:01:19 PM] Kain: Something boring, repetitive, and lasted for about sixty seconds.
---
[10:45:08 AM] Salanewt: But yeah, the elemental phalluses are being... Stroked up by Saturos and co., and the energy will go towards... Mt. Muffin, where the Golden Climax will arise.
[7:28:42 PM] Salanewt: An added bonus is that Isaac and co. were trying to stop Saturos and co. because their beliefs state that Mt. Muffin should remain a virgin.
---
[9:54:21 PM] Randel Peltier: Guess the number in my head an you get to pick what I say. Number between 1-10
[9:54:28 PM] leaf: 11
[9:54:36 PM] Randel Peltier: @#$%!
---
[8:38:13 PM] Randel Peltier: Shes like this queen up on a pedastal that I have yet to court.
[8:38:29 PM] Kain: You've tried courting her.
[8:38:43 PM] leaf: and failed spectacularly
[8:38:44 PM] Randel Peltier: Ive tried...shes the best dating game ever.
---
[12:24:35 AM] Salanewt: I need to find a picture of a naked person to put on the Christmas tree next year.
---
[2:19:06 PM] Zeadra: wait... Rief's a guy???
---
[1:09:57 PM] Zeadra: well if you want to know if its a new effect or something weird, just check GS1, if side step is there maby it is the nimble dodge thing
[1:10:35 PM] Kioll: For once, you've contributed something useful.  o.O[/spoiler]

Rolina

Yes, Fleta two shots these things and mister BRILLIANT GENIUS here takes several hits to take them down.  Several hits which, might I add, cause his character to move forward.  Needless to say, I was not amused, especially after CLEARING OUT EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE LEVEL for him while he was AFK!

Kain

Real life
Avalanche
Skype voice chat with Role and leaf.

So we were in the midst of a conference call and something came up where I had began to look for something on my entertainment stand.  Now, at the top of said stand, is a giant stack of manga, magazines, CD cases and video games.  As I was looking for my item, I had unknowingly started to shake the stand around when I was moving stuff.  The movement caused my stacked pile of objects to start to sway and slowly slide off of each other and lean towards the edge.

As the conversation went on, I had noticed one of my stacks of manga was starting to fall so I reached up and pushed it back before I went back to my searching.  I had pulled a large object out from under my stand and it made the stand rock heavily.  I caught a glimpse of the items tipping over the edge and all I mustered was "DEAR GOD NOOOOOO!" before the loud noises of crashing books and items overtook me.

When I regained my senses, my headphones and glasses had been knocked off, my room was a mess and all I could hear aside from my groaning was leaf and Role howling with laughter on the mic for a full six minutes.  Lesson learned.  Stack those books better next time.

You misspelled retard...oh the irony!

Rolina

All the more reason you guys should join our Skype channel.  All sorts of hilarity goes on there.

Salanewt

Wow, that must have been a huge pile. Did anything break, or were you fortunate enough for everything else to stay in their previous states?
Oh yeah baby, £ me harder.

Fusion is just a cheap tactic to make weak Adepts stronger.

Yoshi's Lighthouse is a hacking website in progress. Why not check it out if you like Yoshi or the Mario & Luigi games?

Kain

#47
Sala:  Nope.  Nothing broke.  Some of my Arizona tea spilled onto my monitor but I was fast enough to clean it up thankfully.

Fallout New Vegas
In Times of Struggle
Yoen.  Level 30.  Enclave Power Armor.  Enclave Power Helmet.  Ballistic Fist.  Euclid's C-Finder.

At this point in the game, most of my stats were near maximum (since I was on the max level up without the DLC.) and for the last few of my perks, I started to take perks that increased my Damage Threshold...which pretty much reduced all damage I took.  With all my DT combined with the armor AND the implant I had installed on me gave me well over 58 DT, pretty much making me indestructible to most attacks.

However, when I went to The Fort, which was the main stronghold for Caesar's Legion, I was attacked on sight because of my vilified nature with them.  It was so bad, Caesar himself and his guards came out of their hut and chased me.  Now I can take them no problem, but when I'm ganged up on, my DT was pretty useless so I actually had to fight intelligently.  Finally it go to the point where I was running laps around the camp with this giant group following me.

Figuring I had nothing left to lose...I changed my weapon to Euclid's C-Finder.  This weapon is in digital contact with an orbiting satellite that shoots a massive laser at wherever I aim.  I stopped, turned around and faced the charging group.  The laser wouldn't fire right on them if I aimed where they were.  I'd have to aim very close to myself to get them in the blast.

I pointed the gun a small distance from myself and pulled the trigger.  As the lining beams appeared I screamed out, "Limit break!  PONY GOD ROAR!" (Don't ask.  Blame leaf.) right as the group got into the middle, the laser had come down and everything went to hell.  An explosion happened.  The blast was so strong, that anything caught in it was sent flying.

Pieces of the Legion soldiers were sent flying everywhere as they were destroyed from the contact with the laser.  The laser also sets the area it hit on fire which also hit me because I was caught in the blast.  I too was sent flying from the attack and after it was finished, all my limbs were crippled, I had almost no health left and upon inspection once I stood up, I was alone.

I limped over to Caesar's body, fully intending to take the Displacer Glove that he had on when suddenly, he started to get up!  I raged.  How the heck did he survive that attack?  "Oh, screw this!" I shouted before I did a power punch and smacked Caesar right in the face, the force of my punch sending his head flying clean off of his shoulders.

Sighing, I looted his body and limped out of the camp.  Lesson learned...I can survive direct blasts from an orbiting laser.  Very good to know.

You misspelled retard...oh the irony!

Kain

#48
Champions of Norrath
The stuff I put up with
Kain:  Berserker  Randy:  Dark Elf Magic Knight  Ashton:  Wood Elf Mage

As our quest began, we were asked to choose what type of hero we would be.  Now you only get four choices with two alts between male and female, but regardless of gender everything is the same.  Each class can wield certain weapon types (excluding the berserker who can use all weapons.) and each have their own unique spells and abilities.

Well Randy's dark elf got the ability to summon a skeletal warrior to assist in combat.  I found out much later through boredom while we were out collecting ten bear a**es that if I used my rushing shoulder ram on it, I could instantly destroy it.  Kain now had something to occupy his time with.  "Shoulder ram!" I'd say and the skeleton would be dead.

"Hey! Stop it." Randy said and summoned the skeleton again.  A few minutes later... "FACE MY WRATH, SKELETOR~!" and I bashed into it again.  "Geez this guy!  Look at you!" Randy complained (don't ask.) and summoned Skeletor again. (Yes, the name stayed.)  By now, I had on my best troll face.  Just as we ran into a boss and were getting ready to charge him, I shouted out, "By the power of Greyskull!" and destroyed the skeleton again.

"God da** it Kain!" Randy was yelling at me as he was too busy dealing with the swarm of enemies helping the boss to summon his skeleton again.  "Whaaaat?" I asked innocently.  "Geez, we need the help right now!" Randy yelled right as he managed to summon his skeleton again.  "You mean...like this?" I asked as I rammed into the entire group of enemies and sent the lot of them flying, killing some, injuring many and dispelling a certain summon once more.

Ashton was laughing too hard and dropped his controller.  Randy paused the game and shook his head, although I could see he was amused.  Lesson learned, don't summon around Kain when he's bored.

You misspelled retard...oh the irony!

Griever

Very nice ..... Kain you should consider writing a book -.-

Kain

I actually do have an original story but I don't know about actually writing it.  If it becomes a chore, I get to a point where I don't want to do it anymore.  Maybe I'll write it down one day and show it to people but for now it's just going to be one of my little projects that haven't seen the day.
You misspelled retard...oh the irony!

Griever

Ok you will have to tell us if you do write it -.-

And those small projects of yours can be collected into a big PROJECT.

Kain

#52
Happened hours ago, I kid you not.

White Knight Chronicles
A power too much for mortals
Azure Dragon 3 fighting Water Direspider mini boss alone.

So the four of us began this quest but immediately we split up (or rather...I got split from them.) and wound up going after one of the bosses by myself.  Well after fighting with it for some time, I got bored.  So bored that I made a copy of my ultimate combo attack and renamed the copy to PnyGodRoar.

Finally I just sat there and let myself get hit for a little while since the boss only needed one more hit to die.  I began typing on the chat box.  "Ah jeez...I don't know if I can handle him by myself!"  to which the others replied.  "Oh crap.  Hang in there!  We're on the way!" and I suddenly got the message that they had just killed their second mini boss.  My health finally got down to critical and typed "It seems I have no choice...I must use my ultimate technique."

Guy 1:  O__O

Guy 2:  What?

Girl:  What technique?

"I must use...the Pony God Roar." I typed.  Guy 1 went >.<   Guy 2 said lolwut   Girl said omg...  and right after they finished saying that...I used it and when you use a combo...it's announced to everyone on the team.  Kain used PnyGodRoar attack!  Now during my activation, they all literally "..." until I killed the boss and the message "Direspider #3 Defeated!"

Guy 1:  OMG!!!

Guy 2:  I LOVE IT!

Girl:  Oh god...I can't believe that.

I didn't get to hear much else however as Geonet disconnected shortly after but the reaction at the time was hilarious.  Lesson learned, everyone loves ponies.

You misspelled retard...oh the irony!

Rolina

Ha ha, oh wow.  Nice, Kain.   Nice.

Kain

#54
Real life
Much Ado About Horses
5 in the morning, I'm asleep.

So I was sleeping when suddenly I'm awoken by the sounds of my dogs going crazy.  I took a glance out the window and saw a horse walking down my driveway.  "Bah...it's just a horse." I said as I put the covers back over my window and laid back down and started to go back to sleep.

"WTF, a horse?!" I said as it dawned on me and I sat back up and looked out my window.

My cousin Randy had the same reaction as me when he was in the living room.  It was humorous to say the least when I later learned we did the exact same thing.

You misspelled retard...oh the irony!

Kain

#55
Call of Duty:  Black Ops
Going out with a boom
Escalation map with the stretch of road and the two bridges on either side.

So I was checking out the new map packs for this game and I was running around haphazardly through the stage since I didn't know the layout that well and what better way to learn than to explore right?  So as I'm running around, I suddenly find myself facing an enemy player a good distance away from me.

Acting on reflect, I got into cover behind a phone booth, not sure if it was going to protect me or not.  However, my fears were soon put to rest when he unloaded his entire clip at me and the phone booth protected me from the attack.  Feeling cocky, I called out from the mic "HA!  You missed!  You can't hit me with that pea shooter!"

Now my plan was clear.  Once he was done reloading, I would pop out and eliminate him.  An SMG on this game isn't good for direct combat so I had the upper hand, not only in power, but accuracy and range...so I thought.

For when he popped back around the corner, he did not have an SMG in his hands.  Oh no.  He had a missile launcher.  "Oh, @#$%!  An RP-" BOOM!!! I was dead before I even turned around to run.  He shot the ground near me and took me out with the explosion.  If only I'd been wearing flak jacket.  Whoever you are, you win this round.

You misspelled retard...oh the irony!

Kain

White Knight Chronicles 2
It's Morphing time?
Vellgander Section 3  (I think...)

I had joined up with some randoms to run the third section of Vellgander because they wanted to complete it and get an S rank on it.  So the five of us set out to work on the quest.  Now as it stood, they were decent players but the lot of them were acting like fools.  They transformed the moment a giant monster was seen, (in case you don't know, when you transform it takes all your AC and MP and you will have none when you revert.) the longswords were using their longest animation attacks that take six seconds to dish out mediocre damage and they were casting spells.  As a longsword, spells are worthless to you for use.

The other two mages in the group didn't have healing magic and the bow user of the group refused to use any support skills like dark shot or paralyze tip.  After much hassle, we managed to get to the boss fight against a human unit named Dragias.  The longsword immediately went into knight form and two seconds later, I kid you not, Dragias one shot him and forced him to revert.

The longsword/mage hybrid transformed and attacked the units helping Dragias...she was soon taken down by the two soldiers who transformed into Gigas. (Which are giant monsters.)  The other mage transformed and took down a gigas but was again, killed by Dragias.  That left me and the bow user.  I looked at the bow user and typed "Your turn?"  to which they transformed.

Just like the first knight, Dragias one shot them and they were forced to revert.  At this point, we now had a near dead bow user, two dead mages and the longsword user was currently trying to avoid dying and me...who was ignored through most of the fight since I was using weak attacks to get my AC up.

Once I hit 15 AC, I transformed.  Dragias did his flying sword rush which one shot the other knights, but only hit me for a bit of damage.  I could take four more of those attacks and still not need to heal.  I focused on the last Gigas and managed to kill it.  It was the Beta, meaning it could drain MP so I had to prioritize killing it.  When it finally fell, I turned to Dragias, who had managed to slay the rest of my group on his own.

I used Revival Powder on the bow user who set to work on reviving everyone else.  Meanwhile, I spammed strong slash.  When the attack hit Dragias, he was sent flying and got knocked down.  By the time he would be getting up, I would already be using the attack again.  For the rest of the boss fight, I knocked Dragias around like a ragdoll while my "team" helped by attacking him.

Once we had finished the fight, we got the S rank and went back to town.  The other four called me a showboating @#$%&*!# and left the room.  I shrugged and went on my way.  Just goes to show, some people just can't play RPG's.  Some people shouldn't be allowed to play RPG's.

You misspelled retard...oh the irony!

Tan

Some people should be shot in the face.

Also the longsword parts say everything.
"Video Games"
-Raocow

Kain

Mario Kart 64
It's a me, your worst nightmare!
Me as Yoshi.  Kellen as Mario.  Daniel as Luigi.  Jr as Toad.  Battle mode in the four forts.

It was a bright, beautiful day when I woke up on the couch at my families house with five cats sleeping on top of me.  After wiping the sleep from my eyes, I noticed everyone else was either just waking up or some people (Jr and Kellen.) were already playing the 64.  Myself and Daniel grabbed a controller and patiently waited for them to finish their race before we started up battle mode.

We each had our favorite characters to use.  I had Yoshi back in the day.  After we chose our characters, we chose the forts for the battle stage because we all loved to put up defenses and try to invade each others areas.  Suddenly, as I was laying down a row of bananas, the three of them attacked me.  "Get him!" Jr called out and I had to stop putting up my defense line and drive for it as the three of them immediately teamed up against me.

"You bastards!  I won't forget this!" I yelled as I drove to the top of the green fort I was occupying.  Suddenly I get hit with a red shell and knocked off the side of the fort where I fall all the way to the bottom as I bounced off the second platform.  Well they drove off and were fighting each other when I grabbed some green shells and managed to sneak up on Kellen before shooting him.  "WHAT?!  You again?!  I thought we got rid of you!" he yelled as he tried to run away.

Suddenly, Toad came barreling into me surrounded by shells.  "Take THAT, you big green lizard!" Jr said as he tried to turn around for another try at running into me.  I quickly smacked into Mario, but Toad didn't care and wound up smacking the plumber, missing me in the process.  Just at that time, Daniel, who was using Luigi, tried to run in and get into the brawl, but got in the way of Toad and got hit with the last shell.  "Nggaaaaargh~!" was the odd but hilarious sound he made when he got spun around.

"You fool, you wasted my shell.  I was gonna get rid of Godzilla." he said as he drove off to find an item block, leaving me with the plumbers.  I tried to shoot my last shell at Mario, since he only had one balloon left, but I missed.  I turned tail and drove off because Luigi still had two balloons and was my biggest threat at the moment since he had a red shell, but instead of attacking me, he turned and shot at Toad, who had returned.

"REVENGE!" Daniel called out.  "You dirty chest beater!" Jr called out as he turned and shot Luigi with his green shell, leaving the Mario Bros with one balloon each and Toad with two.  Mario drove up to him and spun, hitting him with a horde of bananas.  "That's for hitting me you mushroom." Kellen said.  "I'll deal with you later, now where's that big lizard?" Jr said as he drove off to find me.

Then I reappeared on the scene.  I had a platoon of banana troopers following me and red shells on standby.  "You're all gonna pay!  ALL OF YOU!" I said as I charged.  "OHSHI- That lizards packing heat!" Jr said as he turned and drove off the side of the fort, the Mario Bros following him closely as I gave chase.

The chase was on!  I launched my bananas ahead in hopes they would run into them but they dodged all of my shots.  I pulled out my red shells and launched one.  It went after Luigi who took a sharp  and went up a slope.  The shell collided with the wall.  No matter, my target was Toad.  I fired another shot and this one went after Mario.  "Oh crap!" he said as he took the corner and vanished from sight.  The shell collided with the wall once more and Toad drove up the ramp.

"You're not getting away!  I will have my revenge!" I shouted as I chased him up to the top of the fort.  He started to cross a bridge and I fired my shot at him.  Suddenly, he dropped a banana and stopped my shell.  "Aw crap..." I said as I followed him before I suddenly noticed that there was something wrong with the item blo-"IT'S A TRAP!" I shouted as I hit the brakes.  Toad turned around, armed with shells and I was stuck trying to not hit the fake block.  "If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can ever imagine." I warned him.  He didn't listen and shot me.

He then drove off to find the Mario bros with his last two shells.  Just as he found them, he fired but missed both times but they weren't paying him any attention.  They're attention was on the driving bob-omb that was chasing after Toad.  "You forgot I turned into a bomb when I die, didn't you?" I asked aloud as Toad was running from me.  "Shush and get away from me you crazy bomb!" he yelled and with that, the chase began anew as I had all three of them on the run now.

"WE HAVE Toad in the lead followed closely by Luigi followed by Mario followed by one crazy bob-omb  as they go around the fort!  Here they are at the drawbridge and OH NO Luigi was pushed off the ramp by Mario!  What a tragic turn of events ladies and gentlemen, but that has not deterred the rest of the group as they keep on the run from the mad bomber!  We'll keep you informed with BOMB WATCH(TM)!" I began narrating as I chased them in circles around the map.

Nothing they tried could save them.  Bananas paused me, shells only halted me for a few seconds.  Luigi finally began to launch green shells like a mad man, causing the things to ricochet everywhere.  Finally, after keeping the chase up for a good hour and a half, I finally wiped out Toad who went after Luigi, resulting in the red plumber winning.  "Whoo, that was fun."  "Yeah.  Mario Party?" "Oh hell yes."

This picture was my face when Mario Party was mentioned.

You misspelled retard...oh the irony!

Kain

Those were wonderful times.  I'd give anything to visit them again.
You misspelled retard...oh the irony!