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The Venus Adept of Sol Sanctum

Started by Thorion, 06, November, 2011, 12:22:01 PM

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Thorion

This here is a fan fic based off of The Hunchback of Notre Dame. No, not the Disney movie. The book by Victor Hugo. So without further adieu, the cast!

Cast

Quasimodo the Hunchback-Isaac

Esmeralda the Gypsy girl-Jenna

Captain Phoebus de Chateaupers the Soldier-Garet

Fleur-de-Lys the fiancee of Phoebus-Sheba

Claude Frollo the Archdeacon of Notre Dame-Ivan

Pierre Gringoire the Playwright-Felix

Clopin Trouillefou the Beggar-Piers

Paquette the Old Woman-Mia

Ninja Steve

Oh god what

also the hell did Ivan do to you?
Quoteroses are red
grasses are green
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Thorion

It's nothing personal, I'm just trying to keep the cast to the playable characters of the GBA games.

Tetsuya the Azure Blade

Quote from: Ninja Steve on 06, November, 2011, 01:38:26 PM
Oh god what

also the hell did Ivan do to you?
More like, what the hell did Isaac do to you? I mean, Isaac as Quasimodo, what the hell?

Thorion

#4
It's nothing personal, I'm just trying to keep the cast to the playable characters of the gba games.

Oh, and Valeshipping.

Ninja Steve

I think he has it in for all of 'em, personally. Not really a tale I'd try to insert other characters into, personally.
Quoteroses are red
grasses are green
push little cart
and be credit to team

Thorion

#6
Forget it, I'll post the first chapter now.

Felix's Play

In the Great Hall of the Palace of Justice in Vale, crowds had gathered to watch a play. Although the important guests were not yet there, the crowd was restless.

Spectators bustled for space in the backed hall. A small group had even knocked out a window and sat high above, overlooking the stage. They shouted for the play to start.

The actors were frightened of the mob. Although the ambassadors from Vault and royal guests had not yet arrived, the play began.

However, the performance was soon interrupted. An old man in rags climbed onto the stage and shouted over the actors, begging for money.
"Charity, I beg you!" shouted the old man.

The man who wrote the play, Felix, was angry at the interruption. This was his chance for fame and fortune.
"Begin again! Begin again!" exclaimed Felix when the actors looked at him dumbfounded.

At that moment, the guests of honour arrived. They were here to celebrate the marriage of the King's son to Dora of Vault. But they were late.

The crowd was now noisy and unruly and had forgotten about the play, Felix, and the old beggar, Piers.

leaf

[spoiler=quotes]
[9:00:50 PM] Randel Peltier: Ok...what did I do last night?
[9:01:19 PM] Kain: Something boring, repetitive, and lasted for about sixty seconds.
---
[10:45:08 AM] Salanewt: But yeah, the elemental phalluses are being... Stroked up by Saturos and co., and the energy will go towards... Mt. Muffin, where the Golden Climax will arise.
[7:28:42 PM] Salanewt: An added bonus is that Isaac and co. were trying to stop Saturos and co. because their beliefs state that Mt. Muffin should remain a virgin.
---
[9:54:21 PM] Randel Peltier: Guess the number in my head an you get to pick what I say. Number between 1-10
[9:54:28 PM] leaf: 11
[9:54:36 PM] Randel Peltier: @#$%!
---
[8:38:13 PM] Randel Peltier: Shes like this queen up on a pedastal that I have yet to court.
[8:38:29 PM] Kain: You've tried courting her.
[8:38:43 PM] leaf: and failed spectacularly
[8:38:44 PM] Randel Peltier: Ive tried...shes the best dating game ever.
---
[12:24:35 AM] Salanewt: I need to find a picture of a naked person to put on the Christmas tree next year.
---
[2:19:06 PM] Zeadra: wait... Rief's a guy???
---
[1:09:57 PM] Zeadra: well if you want to know if its a new effect or something weird, just check GS1, if side step is there maby it is the nimble dodge thing
[1:10:35 PM] Kioll: For once, you've contributed something useful.  o.O[/spoiler]

Thorion


Misery

So, are there any major differences between the book and the Disney movie? I haven't read the book and it has been many years since I watched the movie, but I remember it being really good, and it feels like it would be pretty true to the original concept...

Also, LOL @ Ivan as Frollo. Ivan is a cute little boy no matter how you look at it, you can't possibly give him an antagonistic role without comedic effect. Maybe he could have switched roles with Felix or Piers?

Well, it's a pretty novel idea anyway. Proceed.

Thorion

Sorry, Misery, can't tell you the differences without spoilers.

As for Ivan, Felix and Piers roles, I pride myself on making unexpected choices.

Griever

It's ok so far ...

I take it the chapters will be super short?

Looking forward for the next chapter.

Thorion

I will be incorporating traits of the characters from the novel to the Golden Sun characters. Just thought you'd like to know.

The King of Fools

As the play could not continue, one of the ambassadors suggested that the crowd instead had fun electing a "King of Fools", the person who could make the ugliest face.

A small window was knocked out of the chapel opposite the Palace of Justice. This was where the contestants would appear.

Some of the crowd gathered in the chapel, waiting unseen until it was their turn to display their ugliest faces. The contest began right away.

One after another, the citizens of Vale made hideous faces through the window frame.

The crowd went wild with excitement and laughter, as each person tried to outdo the last, until the crowd gasped. A face more repulsive than any they had seen stared out from the chapel window.

The bristly hair, the huge swollen eye, the misshaped skull, the mob had a clear winner. Someone recognized the face as that of Isaac, the bell ringer of Sol Sanctum.

The people called for Isaac to come out and receive his "prize." They clapped and cheered until the deaf hunchback appeared.

A young man emerged from the crowd and pointed at Isaac's face. He teased the poor wretch, laughing at his deformity and ugliness.

However, the man got more than he bargained for. With great strength, Isaac struck him in the chest and sent him flying backwards, limbs flailing.

The crowd laughed and applauded the spectacle. They then dressed Isaac in a robe like the King and crowned him with a jester's hat.

Isaac was not used to so much attention. He smiled happily as several strong men placed him on a throne and carried him aloft for all the city to see.

Felix watched in dismay. He could not understand why the people would rather watch Isaac than his masterpiece. What an ignorant mob!

Misery

Hmm... to be honest, I was expecting something more creative. Aren't you just rewriting the original and changing the names? Working different characters into the roles of the original novel is what would make a story like this interesting.

Take for example, the role played by Quasimodo. He is a recluse longing for freedom, being resented and ridiculed when he appears in public, but is ultimately praised as a hero. Surely there must be some way for the character Isaac from Golden Sun to fulfill this role without being ugly and misshapen, or even a bell ringer. Altering the circumstances so that the characters in these roles seem believable is the challenge for you as a writer, and also what would draw a reader into the story.

Thorion

#14
I'm not too proud about the first chapter either.

I wanted to incorporate personality traits only, but ended up incorporating physical traits also. The physical traits particularly I'm not happy with incorporating.

Of course to be fair, I'm adapting a story that has been translated from French using Golden Sun characters, so I might be a bit creative.

Thorion

Sorry if I'm breaking any double posting rule but this is the next chapter. And I'm not too proud about a certain implied romance if you notice it.

Jenna

With the procession out of sight, Felix walked the streets feeling sorry for himself. His chance of fame was over, his hopes of riches gone.

Suddenly he heard cries of "Jenna! Jenna!" from the town square. He ran around the corner and saw a Gypsy girl dancing.

He hair was lit by the bonfire that blazed in the square. Her hair was as dark as raven feathers. Her eyes, too, were almost as black.

A crowd looked on in silence, enchanted by the sight of the beautiful young woman dancing before them. She was known as Jenna.

Felix was enchanted, too. He forgot all about his failed play and watched her as well.

Jenna was not dancing alone. She was accompanied by a white djinn, which seemed to understand her commands and performed tricks.
"Come Fizz, dance!" commanded Jenna.

The crowd clapped and threw money to the girl and her amazing pet djinn. Shen then began to sing.

Jenna's beautiful voice rang out clearlu, until she was interrupted by the shouts of an old woman from the nearby Tower of Kyle.
"Will you be quiet, you cricket from hell!" shouted the old woman.

The crowd was angered and hurled abuses at the elderly woman, whose name was Mia, telling her to put an end to her curses.

Just then, the "King of Fools" procession burst onto the square, carrying Isaac. All the thieves, ruffians, and beggars of the city had joined them.

At that moment, a hand reached out and pulled the hunchback from his seat, tearing off his cloak. It was the archdeacon of Sol Sanctum, Ivan. The crowd looked on in terror, would the great fists crush the man of God?

But oddly it was Isaac who looked afraid.

The two men did not speak to each other. Instead, they communicated using a sort of sign language, making shapes with their hands that no one else could understand.

Much to the crowd's surprise and disappointment, the archdeacon lead Isaac away in the direction of the sanctum.

Thorion

Isaac's Upbringing

Sixteen years before... morning mass had just finished in Sol Sanctum. People were filing out of the great doors ready to go home.

Inside, four old ladies were gathered around the foundlings' bed. This was where unwanted babies were left by mothers who could not care for them.

Inside the crib was a strange, ugly baby, crying out loudly. It had bristly hair and its face was twisted out of shape. None of the women wanted to care for the poor child.

However, a young priest called Ivan approached. He felt sorry for the unusual child and decided to bring him up as if he were his own.

Wrapping the baby in the folds of his gown, he carried him away. He named the little one Isaac, meaning "almost."

As the boy grew older, Ivan looked after him as a father, showing him the cloisters, chapels and corridors of the huge sanctum where he lived.

In time, young Isaac learned the secrets of Sol Sanctum better than anyone. He rarely left the confines of its cold stone walls.

When the boy hunchback did venture outside, it was never a happy experience. Children threw stones and chased him with barking dogs.

Each time the priest and his adopted son left the sanctum together, people whispered and pointed at the pair.

Due to his harsh treatment, Isaac learned to have respect for only one man, his savior, father, and only friend, Ivan.

When Isaac was older, Ivan gave his son a job. He had to climb the many stairs to the top of Sol Sanctum's bell tower... and rang the great sanctum bells.

There was nothing the hunchback loved more dearly than making the bells swing with all his strength and feeling them shudder as they made their wonderful sound.

But, you may ask, how he could stand the crashing and booming bells so high in the tower? Well, dear reader, it was because over the years, that very noise made him deaf!

Thorion

Kidnap and Rescue

Back in the present, the crowds from the Fool's parade had gone home to bed. It was a cold night and Jenna was making her way home with Fizz.

She was being followed by Felix. He was curious to see where she lived. Hearing a noise behind her, Jenna peered back into the darkness.

All she could see were shadows in the dim street. She turned quickly into a side road.

Suddenly, Felix heard a scream from the alley into which she had stepped. He ran after her, no longer worried about being seen.
"Help! Help me!" screamed Jenna.

Felix saw two men struggling with Jenna. One was the hunchback who lived in Sol Sanctum. The other wore a hooded cloak.

Before Felix could do anything, Isaac stepped forward and swung his great arms at him. The blow sent Felix flying.

Felix saw the hunchback pick up the Gypsy girl as though she weighed nothing and set off down the alleyway with her.
"Murder! Murder!" exclaimed Felix.
"Help me!" screamed Jenna.

But Isaac did not get far. Blocking his path was a soldier on horseback. Confused, the hunchback halted and the soldier seized the girl from him.

Isaac rushed forward, trying to grab the girl from the soldier on horseback, but was immediately surrounded by more heavily armed soldiers.

Isaac was seized and, although he struggled violently, the soldiers overpowered him and he was soon bound tightly by rope.

The Gypsy and the soldier stared deeply into each other's eyes. The man introduced himself as Captain Garet.
"At your service, my beauty." greeted Garet.

Jenna blushed and thanked the captain, before sliding from the saddle and disappearing into the night.
"Thank you." thanked Jenna.

Thorion

The Kingdom of Vagabonds

Felix's day was going from bad to worse. He lied bruised and freezing in a sticking gutter.

Dragging himself to his feet, he saw a light a short distance away. He hoped he would find food and warmth there.

As he approached, he found the path littered with beggars, vagrants, and cripples begging for money. He tried to ignore them and continue to where the light was coming from, but it seemed they had other ideas.

As he pushed past, they started to chase after him, throwing aside their crutches and sticks! Felix was herded into a large hall filled with beggars and cripples where a large fire blazed, the infamous Court of Miracles!

Felix found himself in front of a man seated on a barrel. It was none other than the beggar who interrupted his play, Piers! All around the hall, the city's lowlifes were drinking, dancing, and making merry.
"Welcome to my court." welcomed Piers.

Here the old man was not a beggar, but a king, the King of Vagabonds! Piers told Felix that he must pay a fine for entering his kingdom uninvited, or be hanged!
"What is it to be?" asked Piers.

When Felix said that he doesn't have a single coin upon him, Piers told him that there was only one way to save his life, to join their gang, but first he had to pass a test.
"You must prove yourself." stated Piers.

They hung up a gown covered in bells. Felix had to climb a stool, reach into the pocket, and take a purse from it without making the bells sound.
"Can you pick a pocket?" asked Piers.

He failed miserably. The crowd went wild with excitement, and poor Felix was pale with fear as the "executioner" fixed a noose around his neck.

However, King Piers offered him a final chance to be saved. It was a vagabond custom, he said, that a man can be spared from hanging if someone from hanging if someone in the room agrees to marry him.
"Wed a wench, or it's the rope for you!" stated Piers.

Things were not looking good for Felix until, at the last minute, the crowd parted and Jenna stepped forward. She was willing to be wed to the condemned man, he was saved!
"I'll take him." stated Jenna.

Thorion

Isaac at the Pillory

The next day, at the town square, a huge crowd had gathered. Word had it that a public flogging would take place, and there were few things the bloodthirsty people of Vale enjoyed more.

A cart rumbled into the square. On it, bound tightly with ropes and chains, was poor Isaac. He did not struggle as he was led toward the central pillory.

Nor did he make a sound when soldiers stripped him to the waist and fastened him securely to the wheel in front of the crowd.

A man stepped up to the platform carrying a long whip of knotted leather. He rolled up his sleeves and flexed his muscles.

An hourglass filled with sand was turned over, indicating that the performance would begin.

The wheel began to turn, but the hunchback did not yet understand. As the first lash cut into his back, Isaac's eye opened with pain.

The flogging got harder and harder until blood poured down the poor hunchback's sides. The crowd howled and laughed, taunting Isaac. Stones and rotting food were thrown at him, too.

Isaac struggled with his bonds but could not escape. The mob cheered to see him struggle and fail. Though he could not hear them, Isaac saw the hate on their faces.

Suddenly he stopped struggling. Something had caught his eye, and he stared across the heads of the jeering crowd.

It was Ivan, his adoptive father and master! He must have come to put an end to his son's terrible suffering. Isaac was relieved to see him.

But, after looking on for a few moments, the archdeacon urged his horse to walk on. Turning his back on Isaac, he abandoned him to the crowd.

The light of hope in Isaac's eye disappeared. He cried out in pain, and begged the crowd for a drink of water.
"Water! Please! Water!" cried Isaac.

Jenna stepped forward and held a flask to the hunchback's mouth. The crowd went silent. In gratitude, he tried to kiss the Gypsy's hand. But the girl pulled away, frightened.

Suddenly, from the barred window of a cell nearby, a terrible screech was heard. Curse aimed at the Gypsy pierced the silence.

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