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Author Topic: Scattered Skies  (Read 4119 times)
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Mastermind
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« on: May 28, 2010, 08:22:14 PM »

I already posted this in GSR, but I thought that it might be good for you all to have a sample of my writing, so here's the introduction to this story:

In the past, things were different. We fought only ourselves, but we had such terrible
power. The world was whole then, the clans unformed, the beasts not made., the wastelands
still filled with untainted life. But that changed when discovery was made. They called it
'mana', after stories of men with indescribable powers. Mana could make their weapons into
living machines, could give soldiers powers like the men in the stories. At first, they saw
only what mana could do for them, but slowly, the deadly cost began to show. The
battlefields where mana had been used now twisted all living things that entered into
monsters, they became the wastelands. The soldiers infused with mana found that their
children had similar, warlike powers. Perhaps the most terrible change came last, in the
tearing of the sky. Before, the change between the different lands had been wide, slowly
moving from one to another. After, the changes came without warning and the land was
patterned. Some deserts stood right by the jungle, and one step could bring a man from the
crowded wet trees to the dry open sands. The sky broke, and the land with it, and they
drifted through the world. The horror of these changes gave birth to the priests, who spoke
of the evils of not only mana, but of all the technology. The world turned to them for
guidance and flung the machines into the sea, but without the machines to protect them,
humanity was helpless against the beasts that had risen from the wastelands. Humanity shrank
and was on the verge of total annihilation when he appeared.
 One man, who called himself Jack. He stepped between the priests and the old world
leaders and proposed a middle path,between the heights of the corrupt past and the depth of
the 'pure' society. He proposed the clans. Each realm would have a clan that nourished the
others and were in turn nourished. The leaders and priests both agreed, for there was no
better way in sight.

First came the Sea Clan, charged with salvaging, distributing, and
maintaining technology necessary for other clans' survival and duty. Those of the sea clan
have always suffered predjustice from the other clans stemming from hate of technology the
priests had taught. Then came those of the mountains, formed from the remnants of the
priests, they preside over the sacred rituals performed throughout the clans. The criminals
condemned for death were instead sent to the wasteland where through regulated exposure to
the mana they became mindless guardians filled with immense mana, but absolutely devoted to
containing the fiercest beastsand the old weapons of war to the toxic lands. Once enough
technology had been salvaged, the two clans most accepting of the sea clan were formed, the
underground and the sky clans. The underground clan harnessed the heat of the large amount
of liquid rock that had begun to flow when the sky broke and powered the machines of other
clans, and the sky clan were eternally bound in the sky, watching the movement of the
scattered lands from their flying ships and sending their observations to those who needed
to travel. Those of the plains grew herbs and created medical compounds to help the injured
throughout the clans. Those of the winter forests train fighters to protect the more
vulnerable clans. The desert tribe gathers the sun's energy to add to the underground's
energy distribution. Those of the river and lake purify water and send it to those who would
be lacking. The jungle dwellers provide balanced nutrition from a variety of fruits and
vegetables to ensure that none of the clans are malnourished. The Artic clan uses the
environment where not many beasts travel to experiment on beasts caught in the other clans.
Finally, a nomadic clan of researchers explore and document the areas mana has affected in
unusual ways and attempt to undo mana's effect on the world. So far, they have been
unsuccessful. There were those that refused the system, the rich men that did not want to be
seen as equal with everyone. These people banded together and attempted to prevent Jack from
carrying out his plan. They could not stop the clans, but right before the end of the war,
Jack vanished and with him, the untold final step in his plan. The remnants of this group
became pirates that attacked an pillaged the clans.

   So, time has passed and the story of the clans' creation has become little more than
a legend, a tale that told of times before these scattered skies. But unknown forces are
moving the wheel of fate again and the effects may threaten the world. Already changes start
to show; A pirate leader sentenced to exile in the wastelands senses the part he is to play.
And in the dark shadows of the wasteland, a long dead machine has been revived. These two
agents of destruction may collide and form a force that shatters the order that has held us
together for so long. The requirement for Jack's unknown final step also begin to align as
four people from separate clans feel the cal and will unite to stand against the destructive
force and attempt do divert the wheel away from the path that leads to annihilation. The
pieces are starting to move, to either stitch or tear these scattered skies, this patterned
fate, nothing can be done, so let us watch these great forces carve the path for the future.
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Salanewt
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« Reply #1 on: May 28, 2010, 08:28:19 PM »

Your story seems pretty interesting Mastermind. With just a little submission that would be remotely similar to this, I am sure that Role will accept you as a writer for the community project... If you are interested, that is. Also, do you need a proofreader? Although it is pretty good, I did notice a few minor errors, either in appropriate word choice or for incorrect spellings (although there are few in what you have shown us).

Have a nice day.
« Last Edit: May 28, 2010, 08:33:07 PM by Salanewt » Logged

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Mastermind
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« Reply #2 on: May 28, 2010, 08:34:06 PM »

I do the majority of my writing off of the computer, so I have to type all that in from a piece of paper and it gets really annoying and I sometimes misspell things every now and then, but if I'm typing original stuff I generally make sure the spelling is correct (unless I'm in a hurry, then I make some mistakes).
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Salanewt
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« Reply #3 on: May 28, 2010, 08:38:34 PM »

I can see that, since it is really quite simple to make mistakes when rushing, or even when not on the computer. Anyway, are you going to show us any more of this story?

Have a nice day.
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Mastermind
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« Reply #4 on: May 28, 2010, 08:48:18 PM »

I'm actually working on a different story right now (it started when I was bored in class, but it's the size of a short story and isn't halfway finished, so don't expect me to put the 10+ pages of my tiny writing up). I'll return to this one once I get back into the futuristic fantast frame of mind. I did write a little bit more to introduce one of the protagonists.

Chapter 1: James

   Across the desert sands, the speeder flew. On it, a young member of the Sea Clan
sat, his name was James. James loved the desert, and relished the rare chance to fly over
it. The sea was fine to fly over, but after years of the rapid blue waves, the golden-red
waves almost frozen in time held a sort of mysterious fascination for him. His time there was
fleeting, however, as only minutes after he entered, the trees of the Arctic forest forced him
to pull up to avoid flying into the maze of branches and activate the heating coils in his
suit to avoid  allowing the wind flying past him to steal all the heat he had and cause him to arrive
at The Dustchute shivering and sneezing. He couldn't afford that, he was already dangerously
close to being late.

After five minutes of furiously hoping it was where he remembered it was,
 James was rewarded when the trees suddenly dropped off around the giant hole leading to one of the underground clan's colonies, nicknamed 'The Dustchute'. As he had seen the expert pilots of the underground do, James cut off all power to the speeder and closed his eyes as
he began to fall.

Silently, he counted to himself, counted down to the time when he would
hit the ground. At ten seconds, he was sweating, at five he could hold it no longer, he
opened his eyes and powered up the speeder. Looking down, he was disappointed to see that he
still had about fifty feet until the landing pad. The pilots who were used to it could
almost skim their toes on the pad as they pulled up. He quickly landed and placed the
speeder in a parking space far away from the exit, so the people predjustice against the Sea
Clan could find nothing to conplain about. He hated doing it, but he knew it was the right
move, for as he ran out off of the pad, he spotted a wagon characteristic of the Mountain
Clan. But he didn't have time to think about that, he was late.
« Last Edit: May 28, 2010, 11:10:43 PM by Mastermind, Reason: spelling » Logged
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« Reply #5 on: May 28, 2010, 10:25:41 PM »

You said you did this while you were bored? It's very good, you should, if you can, make a series of flash animations with this as its storyline.
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Mastermind
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« Reply #6 on: May 28, 2010, 11:07:35 PM »

I used to have acess to flash, but I don't anymore. I was getting pretty good at actionscript2.0, but then 3.0 came out and I needed to relearn it.
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